"idiot plot armor" [verse 1] vibing through life, one brain cell intact every choice i make defies basic facts coffee at midnight, forgot how to sleep still waking refreshed—logic obsolete bad decisions stacking up, never crashing down tripped into success, how am i not underground? failing upwards daily, consequences flee if life's a tragedy, the joke’s clearly me [chorus] got that idiot plot armor, failing with style dodging every bullet, missing by a mile if i'd ever read him, i’d call it shakespearean stumbling blindfolded, fate interfering [verse 2] left my wallet downtown, strangers hand it back jobs i never earned fall right into my lap can't spell "responsible," yet somehow i'm thriving disaster’s my gps, still flawlessly arriving friends ask my secret—i shrug, can't relate universe loves fools, guess that's my fate every crisis canceled, every deadline bends scriptwriter's lazy or maybe we're friends [chorus] got that idiot plot armor, failing with style dodging every bullet, missing by a mile if i'd ever read him, i’d call it shakespearean stumbling blindfolded, fate interfering [bridge] plot holes in my life bigger than my debt still no consequences, hasn’t caught up yet maybe god's amused, watching from afar my guardian angel facepalms extra hard [outro] idiot plot armor, call it cosmic luck self-sabotage daily but i'm never stuck one day it'll end—probably offscreen till then, i'm vibing in this nonsense dream
