[Intro - Bright synth riff, punchy drums, funky bass] Something strange is going on in town, The bakery's empty, there's not a crumb around. The scones have vanished, the donuts too, And somehow there's frosting on someone's shoe! [Verse 1] The baker called us up at half past three, Said, "Something's wrong, come take a look and see!" The chocolate ones are gone, the glazed ones disappeared, And somebody left a trail of powdered sugar here! We followed it down through the alleyway, Found six suspicious Rangers at the café! DJCed was whistling, Rex looked confused, Jessica said, "Hey, we've been falsely accused!" Jenny had sprinkles stuck onto her sleeve, NavyRaven said, "There's nothing up my sleeve!" Jim just shrugged and said, "What's the big deal?" Then a scone fell out of his coat with a squeal! [Pre-Chorus] There's something fishy, something sweet, Something covered in sugar underneath their feet! [Chorus] Who you gonna call? DONUT RANGERS! Who you gonna call? DONUT RANGERS! When your donuts disappear in the middle of the night, And your scones go missing right out of sight, When somebody whispers, "Tree fiddy!" in the hall... DONUT RANGERS! Wait, hold on... Weren't YOU SIX the last ones seen with the donuts? [Donut Rangers] Huh? What? Who, us? [Everyone] YES, YOU! [Verse 2] The sheriff pointed at a photograph, Six Rangers smiling with a donut in half. "That was taken yesterday at two-oh-nine." Rex said, "Could be anybody. Looks nothing like mine." Jessica's uniform had frosting on the chest, Jenny had a scone-shaped stain upon her vest. NavyRaven's pockets smelled like blueberry pie, And Jim had powdered sugar falling from the sky. DJCed said, "We're investigating the case!" Then a jelly donut rolled right past his face. They all stood frozen, trying not to stare, While a dozen glazed donuts fell out of the spare! [Pre-Chorus] There's evidence here, there's evidence there, There's evidence stuck in everybody's hair! [Chorus] Who you gonna call? DONUT RANGERS! Who you gonna call? DONUT RANGERS! When your jelly gets stolen and your scones disappear, When somebody says, "Tree fiddy!" and everybody looks here, When the bakery screams and the frosting starts to fall... DONUT RANGERS! Wait, hold on... Weren't YOU SIX the last ones seen with the donuts? [Donut Rangers] Huh? What? We were? [Everyone] YES! [Donut Rangers] Oh... [Bridge - Half-time, dramatic synths] Jim says, "I've got a theory." Rex says, "Let's hear it." Jenny says, "This could get serious." Jessica says, "Definitely mysterious." NavyRaven points toward the door, DJCed says, "Look! There's frosting on the floor!" They follow the trail around the bend, And find a giant box labeled: "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL EVERYONE IS HERE." [Spoken] DJCed: "Should we open it?" Rex: "Absolutely not." Jessica: "Definitely not." Jenny: "We probably shouldn't." NavyRaven: "I'm opening it." Jim: "Already opened it." [Beat kicks back in] [Final Chorus] Who you gonna call? DONUT RANGERS! Who you gonna call? DONUT RANGERS! When your donuts are missing and your scones are gone, When you find six Rangers wearing frosting at dawn, When somebody's yelling, "Where's my tree fiddy?" And everybody suddenly gets real shifty... DONUT RANGERS! Wait, hold on... Weren't YOU SIX the last ones seen with the donuts? [Donut Rangers] Huh? What? Us? [Everyone] YES, YOU! [Donut Rangers] We have no idea what you're talking about! [Spoken] DJCed: "Hey, guys..." Rex: "Yeah?" DJCed: "Does anybody know why there's a donut stuck to Jim's hat?" Jim: "No." [Jim] ...Maybe it's evidence. [Final Chorus] WHO YOU GONNA CALL? DONUT RANGERS! WHO YOU GONNA CALL? DONUT RANGERS! Missing donuts? DONUT RANGERS! Missing scones? DONUT RANGERS! Need somebody to explain the tree fiddy? DONUT RANGERS! [Outro - Synth riff, laughter, group vocals] Donuts! Scones! Tree fiddy! DONUT RANGERS! And if you find the missing box... Don't call us. We were never here. [Donut Rangers] Huh? What? Who said that?
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