[Intro - Dr Grievance] Gravel & Dust Domestic Disturbance The cupboard... is bare [Hook] Last pack, where the fuck they all go? Fifty thousand bags last week, now there's no more Last pack, someone's been eating greedy Multipack's empty, house full of people feeding [Verse 1 - Big Niggle] B-I-G N-I-DOUBLE-G-L-E Let me paint a picture, a tragedy Saturday I did the big shop, filled the trolley up Walkers, Doritos, Pringles, couldn't get enough Twenty-four multipack, thought I was set for weeks Monster Munch, Quavers, Wotsits for the freaks Loaded up the cupboard, stood back with pride Enough crisps in there to last 'til I died Fast forward seven days, fancy a little snack Opened up the cupboard, nearly had a heart attack Empty bags, crumbs on the shelf, what the fuck? I spent sixty quid on crisps, ran out of luck I'm counting on my fingers who's been in this house Me, the Mrs, kids—someone's been a louse Ain't no way I ate them all, I had like three packs So where the fuck they go? I need to know the facts [Hook] Last pack, where the fuck they all go? Fifty thousand bags last week, now there's no more Last pack, someone's been eating greedy Multipack's empty, house full of people feeding [Verse 2 - Lil Setback] Lil biddy setback, YO WHO ATE THE CRISPS? I'm checking CCTV footage, making lists Was it the kids? They looking suspicious "I only had one pack"—THAT'S FICTITIOUS I found seventeen empty bags under the bed Salt and vinegar, cheese and onion, now I'm seeing red Someone in this house is a crisp fiend Sneaking to the cupboard, living out their dream Eating four bags at a time when nobody's looking While I'm out here working, they in here cooking Through my snack supply like it's all-you-can-eat Now I gotta go back to the shop, admit defeat Sixty quid gone, didn't even get my share Opened up a pack—PRAWN COCKTAIL? WHO PUT THAT THERE? Nobody eats prawn cocktail, that's the only one left This household's committed snack theft [Hook] Last pack, where the fuck they all go? Fifty thousand bags last week, now there's no more Last pack, someone's been eating greedy Multipack's empty, house full of people feeding [Outro - Dr Grievance] Hide your snacks... Domestic Disturbance Gravel & Dust
