[Verse 1] I'm a bad, bad boy I'm a bad, bad boy I'm a bad, bad boy I'm a bad, bad boy I'm so bad, bad, bad I'm so bad, bad, bad I'm a bad, bad boy I'm so bad I get off when I drive I get off when I drive I get off of the expressway And I drive really slow I'm a bad, bad boy I drive like a grandfather I'm a bad, bad boy I drive like your grandpa When it's thirty miles an hour I do maximum thirty And there's always someone Tailgating me Even in my own neighborhood Without fail I'm a bad, bad boy Because I drive the speed limit I'm a bad, bad boy I'm a bad boy boy I'm a bad, bad boy I'm a bad, bad boy I like to drive I like to drive I like to drive the speed limit Let me say it I like to drive I like to drive I like to drive the speed limit I'm a bad, bad boy I'm a bad, bad boy I look both ways Before crossing the street I'm a bad, bad boy I cross at the zebra I cross at the crosswalk I'm a bad, bad boy I put my shopping cart back I put my trolley back In the trolley bin In the trolley corral In the trolley corral I'm a bad, bad boy I don't throw trash on the ground I'm a bad, bad boy I don't mess with Texas I got brainwashed by Ingenious propaganda commercials When I was a kid I don't mess with Texas Except occasionally I drop a Swedish snus If it's driving me nuts And I definitely spit But not as much as I used to I'm a bad, bad boy I'm a bad, bad boy Oh yeah, it says my car can go fast Oh yeah, it says my car can go fast But I only use that gear When it's absolutely necessary Everyone's in such a hurry Everyone's in such a hurry I always stop and smell Always stop and smell the roses I see if they have any flowers Anything new today I buy my mom flowers I'm a bad, bad boy [Instrumental: scrappy distorted guitar solo] [Verse 2] I'm a bad, bad boy I'm a bad, bad boy I do all the things Your mama warned you about I'm a bad man boy You don't wanna mess with me I keep track Of my heart rate 'Cause I got tachycardia I even walk slow I'm a slow walker I walk like an old man Even when I don't need a basket I use it for support At Walmart At the grocery store I always have a basket Even if I have ten items or less I'm a bad man boy That's right, I'm a bad man boy I do all the things Your mama warned you about Give me some more guitar Bad, bad guitar Give me some scorching guitar Give me some razorblade guitar Give me some blistering guitar Give me some ear bleeding guitar Give me some ice pick guitar And the song is done
