Welcome to New Jersey, Now Get the Fuck Out

(Verse 1) Welcome to New Jersey, ain't she something to behold, From mountain trails to sandy shores and autumn painted gold. The Garden State's a little slice of Heaven, there's no doubt... Then every damn shoobie shows up and wears the whole thing out. (Verse 2) You're doing fifty in the left while everybody cusses by, Rubbernecking every exit like you've never seen the sky. The Parkway is a parking lot before it's even noon, The locals know the beach is gone from Memorial Day to Labour Day. (Pre-Chorus) We ain't unfriendly people—we'll lend a hand somehow. We just wish you'd keep on driving... Instead of stopping now. (Chorus) Welcome to New Jersey... now get the fuck out! You're standing where the good stuff is before you wear it out. We'll hate to see you go... But we fucking love to see you leave. The quicker that you're headed home... The prettier Jersey'll be. (Verse 3) The Pine Barrens are beautiful until the crowds arrive, Cape May's a little paradise on weekdays after five. The boardwalk's built for walking, not seven folks abreast, If you're gonna stop for selfies... pull the hell off to the side like all the rest. (Verse 4) You fed the damn seagulls, now they're stealing all our fries, Then stand there looking shocked while one comes diving from the skies. You asked if it's pork roll or Taylor Ham... now everybody's loud, Congratulations, buddy—you've started another crowd. (Bridge) We know they joke about our state— The Turnpike and the smell. But those who call this place their home... They know it pretty well. High Point when the leaves all change. The Shore at break of day. The Delaware at sunset... Now kindly drive away. (Guitar Break) If you're from Pennsylvania... speed up. If you're from New York... use your mirrors. If you're a shoobie... thanks for visiting. Now go home. (Final Chorus) Welcome to New Jersey... now get the fuck out! Take your beach umbrella and your traffic with you now. We'll hate to see you go... But we fucking love to see you leave. Come back... actually don't. Keep driving... don't you stop. Welcome to New Jersey... Now get the fuck out! (Outro) We're loud. We're rude. We'll bust your balls. That's simply how we are. We'll help you change a flat tire... Then laugh about your car. This state's been beautiful all along— If folks would just drive through. The best thing 'bout New Jersey... ...is seeing less of you.