[Verse 1] Me Tazar. Me talk to horse and dog and cat. Me say ritual word and — boom — like that! Me no read good, me no do sum, But animal-talk? That easy, that just grunt and hum! Aurora she love Ossir, love him true and deep, Ossir got the Bipolar, up then down then up to keep. One day he laugh, next day he cry, Aurora don't know why, But Aurora say she love him anyway, that ain't no lie. Snoop and Scoop, they Sandro's steeds, they good at race, But wagon hit one little bump, panic take the place — Snoop scream "WE GONNA DIE," Scoop flip the whole damn cart, Sandro say "it just a rock," don't matter, still fall apart. [Chorus 1] Tazar walk with the animals, talk with the animals, Grunt and neigh and bark with the animals, Me no smart but me try — Me point at horse, horse point at sky, Me not sure horse can point but WHATEVER, Me talk with the animals today! [Verse 2] Banana Joe, he Sandro's monkey, he want the Devil Weed, Sandro say "money a lil' tight for smoke, Joe," Joe say that's he a greedy screed, Cause Joe see all these cunts out there, smokin' on the block, Joe say "where THEY get the coin?" and hurl poop in a monkey frenzy. Clippy she Cat's horse, and Clippy live in fear, Cat come round with brush in hand, start singin' in her ear, Cat croon and coo and brush her slow, all sweet and all intense, Clippy just stand there shakin', prayin' hard for a fence. Spot and Fang, they Crag's — one horse, one cat, real mean, Fang say Crag smell like old fish, worst thing Fang ever seen. Rose, she Christian's horse now, but weren't always his to keep, She belong to Christian's brother, 'fore some shady deed real deep, Rose say Christian took her wrongful, say that make him a cunt, She still let him up and ride her, but she never let him front. [Bridge] But then there Meeko. Meeko Huskey Queen. Blonde inside her fur, dumbest thing Tazar ever seen. Tazar say "Meeko, tell me — Daddy Jim, he good?" Meeko wag whole body, Meeko say she KNEW he would! But Meeko got a plan, Meeko got a dream, She want Daddy Jim and RISSA, happy little team. "Meeko NO," say Tazar, "ME want Rissa! ME the one!" Meeko tilt her head and go "but think how much more fun—" "—Daddy Jim and Rissa, married, happy, free, Then Meeko live forever-after, that's the life for me!" Tazar heart go crunch a little, Tazar feel real sad, But Meeko just say "DADDY JIM" and somehow that ain't bad. Meeko not deep thinker, Meeko love is pure, Meeko just want everybody happy, that for sure. Tazar relate to Meeko, on a jealous plane — Two big dumb hearts, one crush, one pain. [Verse 3] George just George, he horse, that all George need, George say nothing fancy, George just eat the feed. Slinky, Jenova's wiener-dog, he long and low, Slinky say the world too tall, Slinky take it slow. Mooshie, Theo's skunk, he a boy, and he a spy, He toss a ball up in the air, watch it hit the sky, But secretly he watchin', he report on what he see — Theo dating Rissa now, Mooshie the mole for free. Tazar say "Mooshie, tell me true, what you know 'bout that?" Mooshie just toss the ball again, and that where the convo's at. Tazar say "come on man, help me out, I thought we bros!" Mooshie spray a little something, and that how the convo goes. [Final Chorus] Tazar talk to all the animals, guaranteed! Me no read the scroll, but me don't need! Me got totem spirit, me got animal soul, Me flunk every other check but THIS check Tazar's whole! So if you ask the animals "Who your favorite friend?" They all say "TAZAR!" — well, 'til the ritual end. Then he just a big dumb barbarian again, But for one hour, one glorious hour — Tazar talk with the animals, And Meeko talk 'bout Daddy Jim.
