MY WIFES TURTLE IS A COLD BLOODED KILLER

MY WIFES TURTLE IS A COLD BLOODED KILLER Verse 1 My wife’s childhood turtle Bucket was living life real slow Heat lamp on and nowhere to go— Eating strawberries in ice cubes and watching gold infomercials all day — he also occasionally ate hay Anyways this reptilian bastard red slider had a secret — he assassinates people for the CIA Chorus BUCKET COLD BLOODED CONTRACT KILLER FOR THE CIA HE THINKS HES DOING GOOD BUT WHO KNOWS WITH THE GOVERNMENT THESE DAYS!! BUCKET COLD BLOODED CONTRACT KILLER FOR THE CIA SOMETIMES HE RE-CONSIDERS THIS KIND OF WORK AT HIS AGE — BUT TURTLES AGE MAX FROM DAY TO DAY — ITS TURTLE CULTURE IN MOST WAYS Verse 2 The goose president walked in and offered him the biggest contract of his career - to assassinate the Duck King He felt like it was worth it to accept because the goose government is big time sus and controls everything including Donald Trump He trekked to the Duck Kingdom in 4 days and that wasn’t even that slow for turtle speed they say It wasn’t a hard job at all - he tossed some bread and everyone in the duck kingdom rushed over aggressively to have cold wet soggy white bread meat One shot and it would be done real quick — but at the last moment Bucket decided he didn’t wanna do it Chorus BUCKET COLD BLOODED CONTRACT KILLER FOR THE CIA HE THINKS HES DOING GOOD BUT WHO KNOWS WITH THE GOVERNMENT THESE DAYS!! BUCKET COLD BLOODED CONTRACT KILLER FOR THE CIA SOMETIMES HE RE-CONSIDERS THIS KIND OF WORK AT HIS AGE — BUT TURTLES AGE MAX FROM DAY TO DAY — ITS TURTLE CULTURE IN MOST WAYS Bridge At home he’s just Bucket Sleeping in his tank Nobody suspects he’s a legend and with a rank The family says “Look how cute he is” While he hisses as you hold him And then he runs as fast as he can even though he’s slightly interested in the apple slice you offered him Final Chorus BUCKET COLD BLOODED CONTRACT KILLER FOR THE CIA HE THINKS HES DOING GOOD BUT WHO KNOWS WITH THE GOVERNMENT THESE DAYS!! BUCKET COLD BLOODED CONTRACT KILLER FOR THE CIA HE FEELS DONE OR SO THEY SAY — WE HEARD HE MOVED TO BOSNIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HES NOT GAYYYYYY Also he escaped the Goose Government and moved to BOSNIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HE DONE WITH AMERICA