[Intro] [Heavy boom-bap drum beat kicks in] [Record scratching noise] [siren sound] [Spoken] Yo Check the server info [Spoken] Read the rules [Shout] Attention all Rust casuals and sweaty chads [Spoken] Class is in session Let’s break down these laws . Go! [Spoken] Rule number one. When raiding temporary doors are allowed But unlock them when leaving. [Rap] Which means do not vault in the raided sad sucker with 24 armored door and a hatchet to break out. Remove the locks when you are done, but you are welcome to fill the victims pockets with horse dung. [Spoken] Tool Cupboards can be destroyed but do not build a new one [Rap] That means you can smash their wooden box of dreams but do not replace it with a golden monument dedicated to your own ego Take the loot and scoot don't become the new landlord [Spoken] Don't be a douche and destroy things for fun [Rap] Which means douches stay away because you were raised broken. stop shooting their decorative rocking horses Leave the chairs alone They need to sit down and cry in peace after you take their sulfur [Chorus - Heavy] Read the rules. Don't cry! [Rap] It's just a video game don't let your feelings fry Drown in the ocean if you log off wet [Rap] Follow the law or get banned like that [Spoken] No building inside or blocking off monuments including quarries [Rap] That means it is strictly forbidden to implement shotguns at the Water Plant recycler. Not that you can actually do it but don't even think about crafting a wall around the puzzle room to trap a poor naked dude [Spoken] Do not build within one full map grid of Outpost or Bandit Camp [Rap] That means you cannot build a skyscraper next to the NPC guards just to throw horse dung at people. Keep your compound away from the safe zone and save the dung for the road scientists [Spoken] Do not use bases to roof camp or snipe into monuments [Rap] Which means useless dickheads with no self-esteem are not welcome. We do not allow coward sniping from silly roof gardens. Get down there and shoot them in the face like a real man. …or woman …or in between. [Chorus - Heavy] Read the rules. Don't cry! [Rap] It's just a video game don't let your feelings fry Drown in the ocean if you log off wet [Rap] Follow the law or get banned like that [Spoken] Raiders should raid and then leave no base overtaking [Rap] That means you cannot legally change your mailing address to their airlock. You are a burglar not a roommate. Pack your backpack with stolen shit and evict yourself immediately. Feel free to redecorate before leaving though… No gay porn on the walls please! [Spoken] Report players with the command slash report player name message [Rap] Which means do not spam the global chat with salty tears and caps lock Just type the magic command and let the admins banish them to the shadow realm while you craft more gunpowder [Spoken] Treat others the way you want to be treated Remember it is just a game so do not be too sensitive [Rap] That means if you get hit with a rock while sleeping do not write a ten-page essay about human rights in the Discord channel Just respawn grab a double-barrel shotgun and get even [Chorus - Heavy] Read the rules. Don't cry! [Rap] It's just a video game don't let your feelings fry Drown in the ocean if you log off wet [Rap] Follow the law or get banned like that [Spoken] Raiding is part of the game so do not come crying when raided [Rap] Which means do not call your real-life lawyer because your digital stone wall got blown up with rockets Put on some fresh pants hit some trees and rage into a pillow or at your wife [Spoken] You will drown if you disconnect underwater [Rap] That literally means you will drown if you disconnect under water. There is no other way to put it. You will drown. Period. Water in your lungs. Dead. [Spoken] Offline protection is available to buy with in-game currency [Rap] Which means you can literally pay the server to tuck your base into bed and read it a bedtime story. Use your coins so you can actually sleep at night without waking up in a panic attack at 3 AM [Chorus - Heavy] Read the rules. Don't cry! [Rap] It's just a video game don't let your feelings fry Drown in the ocean if you log off wet [Rap] Follow the law or get banned like that [Spoken Building inside caves is permitted [Rap] Is that a rule or just some hint that we should all look for caves and recent the last 4000 years of evolution. Stupid rule. Go live with the bats if you feel for it. [Spoken] Treat others how you want to be treated [Rap] I don’t think that means giving out handjobs or no shooting, it just means don’t be a dick about it. [Rap] Or type slash-report and get 'em deleted [siren sound] [Beat drops out with a final record scratch and a heavy bass thud]
