[Verse 1] Dryer spins the heat, tumbling round and round Left a pair of argyle, now they can't be found Imported state of mind, calculating stats Shadows are creeping in tactical combat hats Cold air drops a sudden and shiver-inducing grief Looking for my socks, looking for a thief [Pre-Chorus] Wind through the pipes making high-pitched wails Rattling metal drum counting laundry tails Something's taking loot right out of the machine The greatest disappearance that the world has ever seen [Chorus] Oh, it’s the great sock heist, stealing from the drawer! Single lefts and rights scattered on the floor! Thumping rhythms pounding while the dryer doors slam We've been robbed clean by a supernatural hand! The great sock heist! (Yeah, every single pair!) Now we're walking round in shoes with our ankles bare! [Verse 2] Check behind the lint trap, check inside the sleeve Micro-fibers vanishing, hard for me to believe Imported data streams tracking down the fuzz Was it a gremlin? Tell me what it was! Static hits the power line, rapid fire tick Pressure turns the meter up, shadows get thick [Pre-Chorus] Wind through the pipes making high-pitched wails Rattling metal drum counting laundry tails Something's taking loot right out of the machine The greatest disappearance that the world has ever seen [Chorus] Oh, it’s the great sock heist, stealing from the drawer! Single lefts and rights scattered on the floor! Thumping rhythms pounding while the dryer doors slam We've been robbed clean by a supernatural hand! The great sock heist! (Yeah, every single pair!) Now we're walking round in shoes with our ankles bare! [Bridge] (Tempo slows down, heavy echoing reverberation and whispered vocals) Wait. Listen. Do you hear that scratching in the vent? That’s where all the striped and polka dots went. Bring the flashlight, quick. Hold the crowbar tight. Shadow forces kicking down the portal to the light. Four, three, two, one—give us back the missing ones! [Verse 3] Vault doors open up, mountains of the knit Neon-colored wool piled deep and legit Imported syndication of the missing footgear We solved the biggest mystery of the whole damn year! Victories echoing across the laundry boards Reclaiming all our laundry from the dryer overlords! [Pre-Chorus] Wind through the pipes making high-pitched wails Rattling metal drum counting laundry tails Something's taking loot right out of the machine The greatest disappearance that the world has ever seen [Chorus] Oh, it’s the great sock heist, stealing from the drawer! Single lefts and rights scattered on the floor! Thumping rhythms pounding while the dryer doors slam We've been robbed clean by a supernatural hand! The great sock heist! (Yeah, every single pair!) Now we're walking round in shoes with our ankles bare! [Outro] Case closed. Put 'em in the basket. Pair 'em up. Or just wear mismatched ones to the club. Slow down the motor. Shut off the power. Electric Machine keeps spinning. And the socks... they're back. (Sound fades out with a dryer buzzer sound)
