[Acoustic Guitar Intro - Technical Math Folk Riff - Five Four Time] [Verse 1] I was wandering the valleys near the Cwmbran line When I saw a vision, looking mighty fine She was wearing white fleece, a designer coat Better than a tracksuit or a fancy boat Her name was Gladys, she was chewing on a hedge She pushed my emotional state right over the edge I climbed over the gate with a packet of crisps Ignoring the danger and the static wisps My trackie bottoms were nylon, her wool was grade A The friction was brewing in a dangerous way [Pre-Chorus] (She's a sparker, a real heart-breaker) (A literal power-station, a woolly earth-shaker) [Chorus] Oh Gladys, my darling, the love of my life I’d take you to Greggs if you were my wife But every time I stroke your beautiful head I trigger a surge that could wake up the dead One touch of your ear and the sky turns blue A billion volts flowing from me to you [Verse 2] [Fast Technical Rap] It started with a crackle and a pop in the air I ran my fingers through her lanolin hair The friction coefficient was off of the scale Like a thousand balloons or a lightning gale The sky started glowing a neon green The biggest discharge that the Valleys had seen It hit the pylon with a thunderous crack There was no way of taking the voltage back The transformers screamed and the fuses all fried While I stood there beaming with romantic pride [Bridge] [Complex Math Rock Riff - Tapping on Guitar Strings] Fourteen days of darkness, Fourteen days of gloom Because I tried to take a sheep back to my room The kettle won't boil and the telly is dead Because Gladys and me had a spark in the shed The National Grid is a pile of charred dust All because of my Newport-based romantic lust [Verse 3] The Senedd is fuming, the Queen is annoyed The entire infrastructure has been destroyed No internet, no lights, not a single toaster I should put Gladys on a wanted poster But she’s glowing in the dark like a radioactive sun And frankly, the sparking has only begun We’re huddled in the corner by a candle light Generating gigawatts throughout the night [Chorus] Oh Gladys, my darling, the love of my life I’d take you to Greggs if you were my wife But every time I stroke your beautiful head I trigger a surge that could wake up the dead One touch of your ear and the sky turns blue A billion volts flowing from me to you [Outro] [Slowing Tempo - Intricate Fingerstyle Finish] Fourteen days of candles and cold tins of beans The most powerful lover that Wales has ever seen (She's electric) (Truly magnetic) (Utterly pathetic) [Final Percussive Thump on Guitar Body] [End]
