[Intro][goofy spooky organ][loose percussion taps] Abandoned House. Four rookies. Zero experience. All four jump at the tutorial prompt. [Verse][bouncy percussive groove] Step inside like ghost hunters pro Trip on carpet within ten seconds though One takes photo of teammate head "Got interaction!" Nope... just Fred. EMF chirp near dusty chair Whole squad screaming at empty air Cold breath forms in hallway bend Someone whispers "this is the end..." "Did you hear that?" Yes. It was you. [Tempo bump][cartoon chase rhythm] Picture frame falls with dramatic flair All four rookies sprint downstairs Basement door slightly ajar Nobody volunteering so far Jump scare sting! Cat leaps out! Four grown adults collectively shout Run run run! Hide hide hide! Two in closet. Two collide. Breathing loud like broken engines Ghost outside just doing inspections... [Hard cut][silence] Nothing. Except one rookie accidentally toggling flashlight. On. Off. On. Off. [Half-time spooky wobble] Hunt begins, red lights blink One forgets how doors work... think! Push not pull in blind despair Ghost just standing watching there. "I will loop it!" brave decree Runs in circle into TV Stuck on sofa geometry Dies with slapstick dignity. [Fast percussion ramp][comedic chaos] Spirit box crackle in the hall [Ghostly echo]"WHERE... ARE... YOU..." We answer all Basement step creak echo boom Three rookies debating room by room One says attic One says stay One just disconnects mid play. [Bridge][mock heroic swell] We brought sanity pills and pride Forgot to actually go inside Crucifix placed upside down Ghost unimpressed with rookie clown. [Climax][cartoon horror frenzy] Dining room chase around the table Fourth rookie yelling unstable Mic peaking red in opera scream Ghost just gliding like ice cream. [Final slowdown][warped music box laugh] Front door opens... three survive. Fourth still hiding since minute five. Abandoned House. Contract failed. But hey... we got a photo of Fred.
