nuonu - The King of Excuses

[Verse 1] Monday morning, alarm's ringing loud, But I’ve got a master plan, gotta make the boss proud. I tell him my hamster's now a superhero in training, And I can’t leave 'cause he's saving the world, no explaining. [Chorus] Oh, I’m the king of excuses, Never at work, always finding uses. My boss buys every story, From alien abductions to my wife's UFO glory. [Verse 2] Tuesday rolls in, calendar’s packed tight, Meetings upon meetings, oh what a delight. I sit there with a smile, pretending to care, While in my head, my wife’s building a rocket in the air. [Chorus] Oh, I’m the king of excuses, Never at work, always finding uses. My boss buys every story, From alien abductions to my wife's UFO glory. [Bridge] Wednesday I claim my dog ate my car keys, Thursday I say I got lost in a time freeze. Friday, I’m allergic to the office air, My hamster’s learning jazz, and I’m their lead snare. [Chorus] Oh, I’m the king of excuses, Never at work, always finding uses. My boss buys every story, From alien abductions to my wife's UFO glory. [Outro] Now it’s the weekend, I’m finally free, No need for excuses, just let me be. Come Monday, the boss says with a grin, “While you were out, we all cashed in. A lotto jackpot, shared fair and square, Or maybe that trip—free drinks everywhere. But hey, don’t worry, we saved you a seat... Oh wait, we didn’t. [End] Life’s bittersweet.”