03 - We Were Supposed to Turn Twenty-One

[Intro - Spoken, restrained] Tomorrow is our birthday. For the first time, I don't know how to say it. “My birthday” sounds wrong. [Verse 1 - Intimate, nostalgic] They'd ask us, “Are you really twins? How come you don't look alike?” You'd say I'd taken all the patience And you'd kept everything else for life I'd play three notes inside my bedroom You'd turn the carpet into a runway You'd say, “When everybody knows me I'll get you on the stage someday” [Pre-Chorus - Tender, trembling] You said we'd leave town for our birthday One weekend, just us on our own I found the hotel you had sent me Still in the messages on my phone [Chorus - Powerful, aching] We were supposed to turn twenty-one Get dressed up, stay out too late Fall into bed and tell each other All the things we couldn't wait to say I'm angry that you left me here With all these candles, everyone Waiting for a wish I can't make While you're still twenty in that frame And nothing gets to stay the same We were supposed to turn twenty-one [Verse 2 - Tense, wounded] You'd call me after every photo shoot And ask if you were getting fat You hadn't eaten since the morning Still had another mile to run I saw your hands shake round a coffee You said, “I'm fine, I need to keep up” And when I brought up the cocaine You said, “Just stick to writing songs” [Pre-Chorus - Anger rising] You thought I wanted you to give it up I only wanted you to make it home I was right to be afraid I'd give anything to have been wrong [Chorus - Powerful, aching] We were supposed to turn twenty-one Get dressed up, stay out too late Fall into bed and tell each other All the things we couldn't wait to say I'm angry that you left me here With all these candles, everyone Waiting for a wish I can't make While you're still twenty in that frame And nothing gets to stay the same We were supposed to turn twenty-one [Bridge - Bare, devastated] “Overdose.” One word from someone I had never met And I kept staring at my phone “See you soon” was the last thing you said I go back through our conversations Looking for the words that might have worked I know remembering every second Won't bring you back or make it hurt less [Build - Raw, conflicted] I'm still so angry with you Then I tell your photograph I'm sorry If you could just walk through that door We could fight a little more [Final Chorus - Soaring, breaking] We were supposed to turn twenty-one I don't know what to wish for anymore I've only wanted one thing for months And no one here can give me what it's for I'm angry, then I miss you Then I feel them both at once Tomorrow I'll be older Than you'll ever get to be We were supposed to grow old together I wasn't ready to be the older one We were supposed to turn twenty-one Both of us Like we always had [Outro - Spoken, fragile] Happy birthday, sis. I wish I knew what you would've wished for me.