Some days I wake up yellow, all nerves and little laughs, Then one bad look can turn it, split me right in half. I act like I don’t notice, like I’m smooth, like I’m fine, But my hands start scratching notes on that same worn line. Days when I feel green, I’m small and I’m ashamed, Counting what I’m missing, hating how I’ve changed. I’d rather blame the world than say I’m scared it’s true, So I swallow it entirely, then cough it up to you. Tell me you’re here, tell me you’re near, Tell me my head is just loud, not clear. Say my name slow, pull me back through, Whatever the color, I’m reaching for you. Days when I feel blue, I need you close, not loud, I need a steady hand, I need a steady sound. Days when I feel red, I burn what I just grew, If I’m going to break, I want to break by you. Days when I feel gray, I lose the urge to move, I can’t see the floor, I can’t see what to choose. So I press one note, then I follow it through, Whatever the color, I’m reaching for you. Days when I feel black, I go quiet, go cold, I count my faults like coins, and I spend what I’m owed. I don’t want to be touched, but I need you in the room, Just sit there with your palette, like a lamp in the gloom. Days when I feel white, I feel empty, wiped clean, Like I’m staring at a wall where my life should have been. That’s when I get scared, that’s when I start to lose, So I beg for a color that still leads me to you. Say it plain. Say what you’re not speaking. Say a color and I'll be it. Days when I feel blue, I need you close, not loud, I need a steady hand, I need a steady sound. Days when I feel red, I burn what I just grew, If I’m going to break, I want to break by you. Days when I feel gray, I lose the urge to move, I can’t see the floor, I can’t see what to choose. So I press one note, then I follow it through, Whatever the color, I’m reaching for you. Days when I feel purple, I’m bruised but I pretend, I make a joke, I smile, I try to just blend in. But the bruise keeps blooming, and the lie falls out of view, So I come to you shaking, like I’ve got nothing to lose. Days when I feel orange, I’m restless, overheated, I pick at every scab, I swear I’ll never need it. Then I hear one chord, and my pride becomes construed, I don’t want saving, I just want you. Tell me you’re here, tell me you’re near, Tell me my head is just loud, not clear. Say my name slow, pull me back through, Whatever the color, I’m reaching for you. Days when I feel color, I learn what I can’t hide, I bring you every shade I swore I’d keep inside. If I can’t be okay, at least let this be true, Whatever the color, I’m reaching for you.
