Verse 1 Rolled a D20, felt real brave Natural one, fell down the cave DM blinking, rubbing eyes Are you sure that’s what you try Paladin oath, morally pure Stole a spoon, alignment unsure Rogue says trust me, famous last words Now we’re banned from three taverns and one bird Pre-Chorus Spell slots gone, long rest denied Wizard crying softly inside Encumbrance rules, we all said nah Now I can’t move, I hoard too much junk, ha Chorus Roll the D20, watch it betray me Natural one, the DM hates me Asked are you sure, yes I am DM sighs, marks down a plan Crit fail, write it down Burned the map, flooded the town We’re not heroes, never pretend We’re a problem till campaign end Verse 2 Said I sneak, wore full plate Rolled with disadvantage, fate Dragon hears me clear as day I trip, yell sorry anyway Bard seduces, why does it work DM facepalms behind the screen, hurt Insight check, I trust the lich He says good call, now I’m cursed again Pre-Chorus 2 Mini’s gone, where did it go Oh, the cat ate the hero Rules lawyer arguing page four DM whispering I can’t do this anymore Chorus Roll the D20, clatter and panic Math is hard and we’re unorganic Advantage, no wait, dis, which one DM says just roll, okay oh no Crit fail, story gold This campaign’s already off the road Save the realm, probably not But wow look, a button, should I touch it Bridge (Call and Response) Who split the party You did Who taunted the boss Me, kinda Who skipped the lore dump Wait, that was important DM says last warning We roll anyway Final Chorus Roll the D20, let it decide Heroes by accident, idiots by pride Stats are bad but vibes are strong This is taking way too long Hey ho, pass the dice This was a terrible plan, roll it twice DM crying but we’re alive See you next week, session five
