[Intro] [SFX: whoopee cushion squeak] (hehe) (okay okay) [SFX: tiny squeaker] One, two, three—GO! [Verse 1] I’m walkin’ through the store like I’m actin’ grown, Then my stomach plays bass in a lower tone. Try to blame the dog—(the dog said “no”), Now the aisle’s a courtroom, and I’m on the stand, bro. [Pre-Chorus] Hold your breath, count to ten, make a serious face, But my jeans got secrets and they want their space. If you hear a squeak, that’s not my shoe— (Spoiler alert) yeah… it’s me, it’s true. [Chorus] Pull my finger (PULL IT!) | let it ring (LET IT RING!) [SFX: long ripper] We’re grown adults doin’ childish things! Laugh so hard that you start to wheeze, Fart jokes forever—our national peace. [Verse 2] Silent library—time to be brave, I sit down gently like I’m defusin’ a rave. But the chair says “BET,” and the room goes still, Then my body drops a joke with malicious skill. [Pre-Chorus] I’m tryin’ to be classy, I’m tryin’ to behave, But the gas has plans and it won’t be saved. If you hear that “pffft,” don’t look at me— Look at the universe (it’s prank-in’ me). [Chorus] Pull my finger (PULL IT!) | let it ring (LET IT RING!) [SFX: wet raspberry] We’re grown adults doin’ childish things! Laugh so hard that you start to wheeze, Fart jokes forever—our national peace. [Bridge / Breakdown] (Step back) (safety goggles) [SFX: tiny squeaker] [SFX: whoopee cushion squeak] [SFX: double squeak-stutter] [SFX: long ripper] [SFX: sub-bass gas drop] (Sir, that was a felony) (Your honor… it slipped) [Build] Okay—compose yourself, put the shame on mute, But the beat comes back and the gas recruits. Clap on two, stomp on four, make it loud, make it tight— If you can’t beat ’em… laugh all night. [Final Chorus] Pull my finger (PULL IT!) | let it ring (LET IT RING!) [SFX: long ripper + crowd laugh] We’re grown adults doin’ childish things! Laugh so hard that you start to wheeze, Fart jokes forever—our national peace. Pull my finger (PULL IT!) | one more time (ONE MORE TIME!) [SFX: squeaky rapid-fire] If humor is gas, then I’m doin’ just fine! [Outro] [SFX: tiny squeaker] (goodnight) [SFX: whoopee cushion squeak] (I regret nothing)
