Quest for the Asshole Prize (Remastered)

We thought the future would get kinder We thought connection meant community We thought people would learn Turns out Everybody wanted the Asshole Prize Fifty years watching the lesson go wrong Children raised by grievance songs Every cruel joke gets passed around Like meanness is the new hometown Everybody sharpening their tongue Trying to win for “most undone” Like empathy’s some rigged old game And humiliation is fame I still catch sunsets through the haze Still make tea on tired days Still hear laughter in the street And wonder how we kept that beat Because the world got colder slowly Not one fire But a thousand little permissions Everybody fighting for the Asshole Prize (Backing vocals: “What a waste…”) Gold medal eyes and a parasite smile (Backing vocals: “No mercy left…”) Say the worst thing anybody’s heard Then stand there waiting for applause New Orleans sinking in the rearview glow Nobody swims that long below Hearts gone hard from the endless feed Everybody starving while they market greed We thought the future would get kinder We thought connection meant community We thought people would learn [sitar string bend] Turns out Everybody wanted the Asshole Prize Fifty years watching the lesson go wrong Children raised by grievance songs Every cruel joke gets passed around Like meanness is the new hometown Everybody sharpening their tongue Trying to win for “most undone” Like empathy’s some rigged old game And humiliation is fame I still catch sunsets through the haze Still make tea on tired days Still hear laughter in the street And wonder how we kept that beat Because the world got colder slowly Not one fire But a thousand little permissions [CHORUS — full drums, soul harmonies, brass stabs] Everybody fighting for the Asshole Prize (Backing vocals: “What a waste…”) Gold medal eyes and a parasite smile (Backing vocals: “No mercy left…”) Say the worst thing anybody’s heard Then stand there waiting for applause New Orleans sinking in the rearview glow Nobody swims that long below Hearts gone hard from the endless feed Everybody starving while they market greed Demagogues harvesting family trees DNA sold off by degrees Community traded for influence maps Friends turned into data scraps Birds of a feather mine Flock cameras to tether Every porch camera wired forever Nobody voted for this machine Still it swallowed every living thing Texas edits history thin Cuts the women out again Acid rain on northern streams Dead fish floating through our dreams And the billionaires keep building bunkers While the grocery shelves get meaner Teaching children competition Before compassion, before nutrition Who taught us survival meant Becoming the cruelest person in the room? Who taught us safety meant Watching each other constantly? Who taught us freedom meant Everything for sale? Everybody fighting for the Asshole Prize Broadcast rage with influencer eyes Every algorithm fans the spark Turns lonely people into dark New Orleans sinking in the poisoned tide Everybody says they’ll be alright But water keeps climbing past the signs And nobody can swim through all these lies Joanie warned us years ago About the trees & parking lots But now the parking lot’s a lockout cage For homeless women told at the gate: 💢No dogs inside💢 So they sleep beside The last thing that loved them back I don’t wanna harden just to survive Don’t wanna laugh while the whole thing dies Don’t wanna train my heart like a weapon Just because cruelty pays better now I don’t wanna turn my heart to stone Don’t wanna punch somebody downward If there’s still goodness left in us I want it loud enough to drown this out Everybody fighting for the Asshole Prize I can see the exhaustion in their eyes Every empire sells the same old fear Just dressed up for another year I don’t wanna weaponize my life Don’t wanna disappear inside If there’s still goodness left to save It lives in the tired & the brave In people who still choose to care Even now Even here The better angels didn’t leave us We auctioned off their frequency Demagogues harvesting family trees DNA sold off by degrees Community traded for influence maps Friends turned into data scraps Birds of a feather mine Flock cameras to tether Every porch camera wired forever Nobody voted for this machine Still it swallowed every living thing Texas edits history thin Cuts the women out again Acid rain on northern streams Dead fish floating through our dreams And the billionaires keep building bunkers While the grocery shelves get meaner Teaching children competition Before compassion, before nutrition Who taught us survival meant Becoming the cruelest person in the room? Who taught us safety meant Watching each other constantly? Who taught us freedom meant Everything for sale? Everybody fighting for the Asshole Prize Broadcast rage with influencer eyes Every algorithm fans the spark Turns lonely people into dark New Orleans sinking in the poisoned tide Everybody says they’ll be alright But water keeps climbing past the signs And nobody can swim through all these lies Joanie warned us years ago About the trees & parking lots But now the parking lot’s a lockout cage For homeless women told at the gate: “No dogs inside.” So they sleep beside The last thing that loved them back I don’t wanna harden just to survive Don’t wanna laugh while the whole thing dies Don’t wanna train my heart like a weapon Just because cruelty pays better now I don’t wanna turn my heart to stone Don’t wanna punch somebody downward If there’s still goodness left in us I want it loud enough to drown this out Everybody fighting for the Asshole Prize I can see the exhaustion in their eyes Every empire sells the same old fear Just dressed up for another year