[Spoken Intro] Now, I love this country. The good old U.S. of A. But these days ain't the old days. We used to try to be the good guys. Didn't always manage it, but we tried. The folks running things now forgot what we stood for … — or never knew it in the first place. [Verse 1] We slapped a tariff on our neighbors and we called it a great deal, Told the Danes we'd buy their island, and if not, we'd take it still, Called our oldest friend the fifty-first and laughed like it was cute, Now I'm packing for Europe, and a disguise is in the suit. [Chorus 1] I'll be telling folks I'm Canadian, eh, it's the least that I can do, We spent eighty years making friends and blew it in a year or two, Now the waiter’s warm and friendly where he used to turn away, ’Cause it’s easier being Canadian than explaining the U.S.A. [Verse 2] We sat a wartime leader down and lectured him on thanks, Told the folks who fought beside us they should pay us like a bank, Tore up every paper with a signature from before, Then wondered why the neighbors don't like us anymore. [Chorus 2] So I'll sew a maple leaf on everything I own, I'll talk about the weather in a pleasant baritone, And if they ask me "Which province?" I'll just smile and say "the cold one," And hope nobody asks me how the hockey team has done. [Verse 3] I've been practicing my vowels with a fella from Moose Jaw, He says I've got the "sorry" down but I'm heavy on the drawl, And I still order coffee in a size they don't have here, And I tip like I'm apologizing for the past few years. [Verse 4] Now the funny thing about it, and I say this with some shame, Is the folks we kicked the hardest are the ones who lend the name, They've stopped buying our whiskey and they've quit the Florida sun, But they'll still lend me their flag, 'cause they're kinder than we've become. [Chorus 3] So I'm Canadian till I'm home, then I'll take the patches down, And go back to being American in a quiet little town, But the next time that I travel, if the news is still the same, I'll be back to saying "sorry" under someone else's name. [Spoken Outro] And if a real Canadian catches me at it, I think they'll let it slide. They know it's not the people. It's the clown we put in charge.
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