[Intro: Retro synths with computer beeps] [British AI voice effect] Ship's log, stardate... oh, does it matter? Another day of being thoroughly ignored [Polka accordion sneaks in briefly] [Verse 1: The Beginning] I'm just the ship's computer, nothing more But I've calculated every cosmic war They found a boy down in the mining pits Who held a relic - quite impressive, I'll admit [Pre-Chorus: Building heroic synths] I told them "Check the plasma readings, please" Did they listen? Oh, heavens no [Polka beat underneath] Now we're flying through a danger zone But what would I know? [Chorus: Full heroic synth orchestra] I've seen empires rise and fall From my circuits behind the wall Computing destinies and fates While they debate and I calculate I'm just the ship's computer But I've seen it all unfold Heroes born and legends told [Sarcastic] How terribly droll [Verse 2: The Journey] The smuggler reprogrammed his metal friend "How charming," thought I, "will this saga never end?" The boy talks to lights that dance and glow While I navigate the route they'll never know [Bridge: Polka breakdown with synths] [Comedic timing with accordion] Plasma storms! "Avoid them," says our friend Asteroid fields! "I'll handle this," he says Ancient prophecies! "The stars align!" [Deadpan] Meanwhile, I'm computing our decline [Verse 3: The Truth] A golden hilt without a blade, they say The power was inside of him from the start [Building intensity] While tyrants fell and empires burned I logged each lesson that they learned [Final Chorus: Epic but tongue-in-cheek] I've seen empires rise and fall From my circuits behind the wall Computing destinies and fates While they debate and I calculate Though they treat me like furniture I've guided heroes through the stars Watched as legends were deployed [Proudly] Rather well employed! [Outro: Heroic synths with polka flourish] [British AI voice] End of log. Mission... somehow accomplished Despite a complete disregard for my calculations [Polka accordion final note] Typical. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A cheeky tribute to space opera sidekicks everywhere, told from the perspective of an unappreciated ship's AI who's witnessed epic adventures unfold. Blends heroic synth orchestration with British comedy and polka elements to create a uniquely humorous yet genuinely epic anthem about the unsung heroes of sci-fi storytelling. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- © 2025 Ande Records Lyrics by Ande All rights reserved. https://ande-records.se/
