{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X} Phone lights up, my stomach drops Unknown name, my breathing stops I rehearse “hello” ten thousand ways Still freeze up like I’m in a maze My thumb just hovers, won’t press green Why does my heart act so obscene? It’s just a voice, just words, just sound But I feel hunted, cornered, bound {X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X} I’d rather text a paragraph Delete it all, then try to laugh I sound too weird, I talk too fast Every call feels built to crash {X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X} I hate to call, I hate to talk To people I don’t know at all My mind goes blank, my voice goes small I’d rather vanish than take that call Ring ring—no, don’t let it through Why does this feel like something I can’t do? I hate to call, I hate it all Just let it stop, don’t make me talk {X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X} I pace the room, I bite my lip I script the end before the script “What if I sound dumb?” “What if I stall?” “What if I say nothing at all?” They say “just call, it’s not that deep” But my thoughts don’t ever sleep Every pause feels sharp and loud I feel too much, I think too proud {X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X} I practice tone, I practice pitch Still feel like I’m about to glitch I hang up before it starts Protect my nerves, protect my heart {X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X} I hate to call, I hate to talk To people I don’t know at all My chest goes tight, my throat goes dry I smile fake and want to cry Ring ring—no, don’t let it through Why does this feel like something I can’t do? I hate to call, I hate it all Just let it stop, don’t make me talk {X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X} Say your name Say it right Don’t sound weird Don’t sound shy Too late Too slow They heard it They know {X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X} I hate to call, I hate to talk I’ll stare at walls and watch the clock I’ll answer texts at 3 a.m. But calling? No, not then, not them Ring ring—please just go away I’ll be brave… just not today I hate to call, I hate it all I swear I’m fine—just don’t make me talk {X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}{X}
