I had it right here just now in my hand Set it down quick when the program began Now I'm turnin' this house upside down To find a way to turn the volume down Check the couch and under the chair Check the kitchen—why’s it in there? Dog just grins like he's in on the joke While I'm diggin' through blankets and coats Got eight remotes layin’ side by side One for the sound and one for the guide One for the Roku and one for the screen And two I swear I’ve never seen Press a button, nothin’ responds Hit the wrong one—picture’s gone Put on the game to watch the pro's Now I'm gettin' wood-workin' shows Where’d that remote get off to now? (HEY!) Slipped away, won’t tell me how (NO!) Lost in the cushions, down too deep— (ohh!) Playin’ tricks like hide-and-seek (HEY!) Point it forward—nothin’ shows (Nope!) Turn it ‘round—now there it goes (HEY!) Too many buttons, lights that glow— (whoa!) All I want’s my TV shows! (HEY!) Finally found it stuck in a sleeve Don’t even ask how that came to be Hit the power, I’m back in the game Then a menu pops up with fifty names Hit rewind, it skips ahead Just the opposite of what I said Now I’m back at the menu again This remote just ain't my friend Where’d that remote get off to now? (HEY!) Hidin’ just to hear me howl (YEAH!) Battery’s dyin’—worst darn time— (oh no!) Never gives a warnin’ sign (HEY!) Point it left and point it right (HEY!) Standin’ up to make it right (YO!) Eight fine remotes, none obey— (whoa!) One more click, I’m done today! (HEY!) Didn’t say her name, just speakin’ out loud Alexa jumped in, talkin’ so proud Google heard somethin’ close enough Changed the channel right in the clutch Didn’t say names, didn’t give a cue Now they both think they know what to do Game was on in the final play When I got cookin’ shows the rest of the day Where’d that remote get off to now? (HEY!) Slipped away, won’t tell me how (NOPE!) Lost in the cushions, down too deep— (ohh!) Playin’ tricks like hide-and-seek (HEY!) Point it forward—nothin’ shows (HEY!) Turn it ‘round—now there it goes (HEY!) Too many buttons, lights that glow— (whoa!) All I want’s my TV shows! (HEY!) So if you happen to find my remote… (ohhh!) Send it on back, would ya now? (HEY!) I swear I just had it a moment ago… (where’d it go?) But it’s gone and I don’t know how… (HEY!) Though truth be told… (truth be told!) I’ll lose it again… (no doubt!) Come tomorrow I’ll be searchin’ once more… (there he goes!) For a remote I already found… (HEY!) Ah well—raise a pint, my friends… (raise ‘em high!) To the man… (to the man!) …who always loses his remote!
