[Intro — bouncing bass, quirky guitar] [Male Army] Hey Marine! [Male Marine] No. [Male Army] I didn't ask anything yet. [Male Marine] Didn't need to. [Male Army] Okay! Army's got the manpower, Army's got the cash, Tanks and guns and helicopters, Buy 'em by the batch. Rangers, Airborne, Green Buh-RAYS, Plenty cool shit that we do— [Male Marine] What do you want? [Male Army] CAN WE PLAY TOO?! [Band kicks in] [Verse 1] [Male Army] You guys showed up in MARPAT, Digital green and tan, Army took one look and said, “HEY! WE'VE GOT A PLAN!” So we went and got some pixels! [Male Marine] I remember. [Male Army] Ours worked everywhere! [Male Marine] Did it? [Male Army] ...We don't talk about that. But we've got new camouflage now! You wanna check it out? [Male Marine] No. [Male Army] Cool! I'll come back later! [Male Marine] That's not— [Male Army] SEE YOU 'ROUND THREE! [Chorus] [Male Army] CAN WE PLAY TOO?! Hey Marines, whatcha gonna do?! CAN WE COME TOO?! We've got guns and helmets too! We've got tanks and we've got choppers, And a bigger budget too! But all we really wanna know is— HEY MARINES! CAN WE PLAY TOO?! [Male Marine] No. [Verse 2] [Male Army] Hey Marine! Got a new rifle! Wanna shoot it? [Male Marine] No. [Male Army] Machine gun? [Male Marine] No. [Male Army] Tank? [Male Marine] No. [Male Army] We could blow some shit up! [Male Marine] ... [Male Army] WAS THAT HESITATION?! WE'RE MAKING PROGRESS! [Male Marine] Jesus Christ. [Male Army] You talk shit about the Navy! [Male Marine] Constantly. [Male Army] You fuck with Air Force too! [Male Marine] Obviously. [Male Army] You even like the Coast Guard! [Male Marine] They do cool shit. [Male Army] BUT YOU WON'T HANG OUT WITH US?! [Male Marine] You're exhausting. [Male Army] But I'm loyal! [Male Marine] I'll give you that. [Male Army] Dependable! [Male Marine] Usually. [Male Army] Heavily armed! [Male Marine] Definitely. [Male Army] HOLY SHIT! THREE COMPLIMENTS! GUYS! THE MARINES LIKE US! [Male Marine] Goddammit. [Chorus] [Male Army] CAN WE PLAY TOO?! Hey Marines, whatcha gonna do?! CAN WE COME TOO?! We've got cool shit just like you! We've got bases, tanks and money, More than we know what to do! But somehow all we really want is— HEY MARINES! CAN WE PLAY TOO?! [Bridge — clean guitar and bass] [Male Army] Look... We've got Rangers, we've got Airborne, Green Buh-RAYS and history too. We've got heroes, tanks and choppers, Plenty badass shit we do. But sometimes... You Marines just look like you're having fun. [Male Marine] We're usually miserable. [Male Army] Yeah. But you make it look cool. [Male Marine] Army... You don't need our camouflage. You don't need our slang. You've got history. You've got heroes. You've got your own damn name. Stop trying to be the Core. You've got nothing left to prove. Just be Army. Be proud of what you do. [Male Army] You really mean that? [Male Marine] Yeah. [Male Army] You think we're badass? [Male Marine] Some of you. [Male Army] YOU THINK WE'RE BADASS! [Male Marine] That's not what I— [Male Army] WAIT TILL I TELL EVERYBODY! [Band explodes] [Breakdown] [Male Army] ARMY'S GOT MONEY! CAN WE PLAY TOO?! ARMY'S GOT TANKS! CAN WE PLAY TOO?! ARMY'S GOT CHOPPERS! CAN WE PLAY TOO?! [Male Marine] THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU NEED US FOR?! [Music stops] [Male Army] ...We think you're cool. [Male Marine] Goddammit. [Final Chorus] [Male Army] CAN WE PLAY TOO?! Hey Marines, whatcha gonna do?! CAN WE COME TOO?! We promise we won't copy you! We've got our own traditions! We've got badass people too! We don't have to be the Core— WE CAN JUST BE ARMY THROUGH AND THROUGH! [Male Marine] Finally. [Music drops] [Male Army] ...Wanna go shooting? [Long pause] [Male Marine] What time? [Male Army] HOLY FUCKING SHIT! WE'RE IN! I'LL GET THE AMMO! I'LL GET THE TRUCK! I MADE MATCHING SHIRTS! [Male Marine] You made what? [Male Army] They say “BEST BUDDIES.” [Male Marine] I'm not going. [Male Army] I'll change the shirts! [Male Marine] No shirts. [Male Army] Roger! ...Can I bring the tank? [Male Marine] No. [Male Army] Machine gun? [Pause] [Male Marine] ...Bring the machine gun. [Male Army] YES! [Final chord]
