"Hey Bumblefuck!" "We're back, baby!" [Verse 1] I’m from Bumblefuck, shit hole in the sticks, No thrills ‘cept beer, country bands, and dicks. So I hit the road with our sorry-ass team, Sniffin’ out rival mascots to fuckin' wet my dreams. Beaverton Bobcats, that Bobby was stacked, Tail in my face and offering up a snack. Rode that cat ‘til the innings was done, Came out breathless — heard we’d fuckin' won. [Chorus] Let’s go baseball! (Hey hey!) Hit that home run! (Oh oh!) Fuck those mascots! (Hey hey!) Fuck ‘til it’s done! (Oh oh!) [Verse 2] Lake Murkin Mudskippers, that Skippy was slick, Foam suit soakin', gave my thighs a lick. We slipped ‘n’ slid on the clubhouse floor, He banged my dugout, I begged for more. Crowd went nuts on a double steal, But Skippy’s fish stick was the real fuckin' deal. Pulled up my shorts and staggered to see, Another W — and a bruise on my knee. [Chorus] Let’s go baseball! (Hey hey!) Hit that home run! (Oh oh!) Fuck those mascots! (Hey hey!) Fuck ‘til it’s done! (Oh oh!) [Verse 3] Pitwick Picklebrines, fuckin' Peter was ripe, Firm green shaft and I swallowed the hype. Got him juiced up ‘gainst the vending machine, Poppin’ my cork while the crowd outside screamed. They’re watchin’ triples, I’m ridin’ that spear, Cucumber up my pants, relish in my ear. Seventh stretch — team still ahead, I’m squishin’ out mustard packs instead. [Chorus] Let’s go baseball! (Hey hey!) Hit that home run! (Oh oh!) Fuck those mascots! (Hey hey!) Fuck ‘til it’s done! (Oh oh!) [Bridge] Sturgis Scarecrows, a double trouble lay, Stuffin’ Head stuffed me, while Maggie Magpie craked. Jugsville Jackalope, antlers at my back, Poundin' me hard on the bullpen track. Dribble Creek Kraken, tentacles spread, Wrappin' me up tight, got me tradin’ head. Every damn stop, another foam thrill, And my Woodchucks just keep winnin’ still. [Final Verse] Homefield lights, championship game, Never thought I’d moan my hometown’s name. There's my Chuckie — brown fur, buck-teeth bared, Every road-trip fuck just led me here prepared. Crowd’s howlin' over that grand slam crack, I’m fuckin' yowlin' with Chuckie baseballs-deep from the back. We scored the pennant, I scored with him twice, Bumblefuck Woodchucks — my dirty slice of paradise. [Final Chorus] Bumblefuck champs! (Hey hey!) I love baseball! (Oh oh!) Fuck that Woodchuck! (Hey hey!) We took it all! (Oh oh!) "Fuckin' dream season, Woodchucks." "Now... about them nuns..."
