It's Too Damn Hot

[Verse 1] Woke up at noon with my face in a fan Sweat in my socks, toaster tan Tried to go outside but the air said “NOPE” Sun’s got me by the throat, I can’t cope! [Chorus] It’s too damn hot! I’m melting in my Doc Martens Too damn hot! This sidewalk’s straight-up scorchin’ Too damn hot! I’d riot, but I’d combust It’s a heatwave, bro, and I’ve had enough! [Verse 2] My leather jacket just burst into flames Tried iced coffee, but it boiled again Punk shows canceled, the amps all fried The drummer passed out and the pigeons cried [Chorus] It’s too damn hot! My mohawk wilted like lettuce Too damn hot! Even Satan said, “Forget this!” Too damn hot! AC’s blowin’ hot despair Somebody punch the sun—I dare! [Guitar solo] [Bridge – Screamed Spoken Word Style] I microwaved my leftovers on the sidewalk! My deodorant surrendered! The local lizard union’s on strike! I SWEAT THROUGH MY EYELIDS! [Breakdown – Gang Vocals] No shade! No breeze! Just pain and antifreeze! I scream! You scream! We all boil in this fever dream! [Guitar solo] [Chorus] It’s too damn hot! My brain is steamed and toasted Too damn hot! Even my tattoos feel roasted Too damn hot! Stick a fork in me—I’m cooked This summer’s a scam, we’ve all been juked! [Verse 3] Tried skinny-dippin’ in the local pool The water screamed, “Bro, I’m not that cool!” Ice cream truck melted into the street Now it's just sprinkles and defeat [Final Chorus] It’s too damn hot! My attitude is sticky Too damn hot! Global warming ain’t so tricky Too damn hot! I'm gonna fight the sun at dawn But first… a nap with the AC on [Outro – Chant with fading intensity] Too damn hot! (too damn hot!) Sun, you win! (sun, you win!)