[Intro] [Spoken Grand] Ladies and gentlemen Comrades and constituents Your mayor… your miracle… your Marxist mufti… Zohran! Mamdani! [Verse 1] I was counting up the votes like “Surely this is wrong” Me? Zohran Mamdani in a Broadway victory song? I’m an open Islamist Also kind of red That’s two separate reasons I should lose by miles Instead But precinct after precinct The numbers start to climb “Did the TikToks do this?” I hit refresh each time The map turns such a lovely shade A revolutionary hue Apparently the algorithm Said “Zohran We choose you!” (hey!) [Chorus] Welcome to the Islamic People’s Republic of New York Zohran Mamdani on the ballot with a prayer and a fork Breaking bread in Borough Hall Serving halal dialectics “From Astoria to Albany—collectivize the rent checks!” Allahu Akbar on the subway “power to the working class” Mashallah to the unions First in line VIP pass From the Bronx to Staten Island Hear the cheering from the block “Zohran Mamdani Zohran Mamdani” We just overthrew your stock (tick tock, TikTok!) [Verse 2] I stroll into City Hall Little prayer rug in my hand The budget meeting pauses They did not expect this plan I say “Bismillah Comrades Let us socialize the fun” We’ll nationalize the dollar slices Every single one A five-times-daily council vote On housing Schools And trains We face toward Queens for zoning laws And toward labor for our gains In the name of the tenants The taxis The teens By the power vested in Zohran We abolish landlord memes [Chorus] Welcome to the Islamic People’s Republic of New York Where the skyline’s draped in banners and in public childcare corks From the salad bar to Wall Street We redistribute the cheese “In Zohran we trust ” printed on your MetroCard Oh please Allahu Akbar Raise your MetroCards and shout “unite!” Insha’Allah the rent is falling faster than the night From halal carts to high finance Hear one joyful dork Sing “Zohran Mamdani Zohran Mamdani” Chairman of the People’s Cork [Bridge] [Mock-anthemic] [Spoken Solemn] Comrades… constituents… cousins on WhatsApp… Let us rise for the new city anthem [Ensemble Grand] O city of scaffolding Bodegas And dreams Now planned according to five-year schemes We pledge allegiance Slightly bemused To Zohran Mamdani and the unpaid dues [Zohran Half-sung] From each borough according to ability To each bodega Free hummus stability We pray We plan We plot We post I’m your democratically elected Halal Hammer-and-Sickle host (hey!) [Chorus] Welcome to the Islamic People’s Republic of New York Where the Friday khutbah comes with free childcare and a spork We recite “Surah Subway” in a People’s Prayer Line “And the Lord said ‘Check your Venmo Rent is canceled—fine’” Allahu Akbar Comrades Raise your reusable bags La ilaha illallah Down with billionaire tags From the council to the corner store The people yell with glee “Zohran Mamdani Zohran Mamdani You’re ridiculous… but we agree!” [Outro] [Spoken over big finish] I was supposed to lose this race Instead I got a whole new York [Ensemble] Long live the Islamic People’s Republic of New York! (hey!) Zohran Mamdani Zohran Mamdani! Blackout
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