We 4k Now!

(Verse 1)
The turkey was glorious and yummy and the stuffing was Delicious honey!
The stories Grandpa told were getting quite bold!
We gathered ‘round the living room, feeling the chill
Searching for comfort, and a technological thrill.
No chimney, no soot, no logs to be found
Just 4K definition and rich surround sound.
We fired up YouTube on the sixty-inch screen
The crispest crackling fire that you’ve ever seen.
(Chorus)
Oh, it was a special Christmas, for you and for me
Warm and glowing in high-definition glory.
We didn’t need kindling, we didn’t need wood
Just an HDMI cable and we were good.
Until things went wrong, as they tend to do
With a splash of bad luck and some eighty-proof brew.
(Verse 2)
Now, Aunt Jenny’s been divorced since late ‘94
And she hits the eggnog like she’s fighting a war.
She wobbled on over to change up the track
With a vodka tonic in a unsteady attack.
She pointed at the embers, said "Isn't that nice?"
Then tripped on the rug and paid the ultimate price.
The glass went a-flying, the liquid took flight
Straight into the vents of our source of the light.
(Bridge)
[Slow down for dramatic effect]
Now, science will tell you, and electricians agree
That Tito's and circuits make a harsh symphony.
First came a fizz, then a terrible pop
The pixels exploded, they just wouldn’t stop!
The virtual fire, looped for ten hours long
Suddenly felt incredibly wrong.
(Chorus)
Oh, it was a special Christmas, for you and for me
Real flames were licking up the flat-screen TV!
We didn’t need kindling, we didn’t need wood
Just a short-circuit spark where the Samsung once stood.
The plastic was melting, the smoke filled the air
While Aunt Jenny screamed, "Save the Bitcoin hive decentralized nodes arm chair"
(Verse 3)
Dad grabbed the turkey to smother the heat
Mom grabbed the presents and ran to the street.
The fire department arrived with a shout
Wondering what this commotion was all about.
They stared at the wall where the screen used to be
A melted black square for the whole world to see.
The Chief scratched his helmet and stifled a laugh
"I’ve never seen a viral video cut quite in half."
(Outro)
So next year we’re going strictly analog, my friend
No digital fires, no trends to defend.
We’ll sit in the dark, maybe light a few wicks
And keep Aunt Jenny far away from Netflix.
Yeah, the night the TV burned was a beautiful sight...
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good fright!

2430/7500

(Verse 1) The turkey was glorious and yummy and the stuffing was Delicious honey! The stories Grandpa told were getting quite bold! We gathered ‘round the living room, feeling the chill Searching for comfort, and a technological thrill. No chimney, no soot, no logs to be found Just 4K definition and rich surround sound. We fired up YouTube on the sixty-inch screen The crispest crackling fire that you’ve ever seen. (Chorus) Oh, it was a special Christmas, for you and for me Warm and glowing in high-definition glory. We didn’t need kindling, we didn’t need wood Just an HDMI cable and we were good. Until things went wrong, as they tend to do With a splash of bad luck and some eighty-proof brew. (Verse 2) Now, Aunt Jenny’s been divorced since late ‘94 And she hits the eggnog like she’s fighting a war. She wobbled on over to change up the track With a vodka tonic in a unsteady attack. She pointed at the embers, said "Isn't that nice?" Then tripped on the rug and paid the ultimate price. The glass went a-flying, the liquid took flight Straight into the vents of our source of the light. (Bridge) [Slow down for dramatic effect] Now, science will tell you, and electricians agree That Tito's and circuits make a harsh symphony. First came a fizz, then a terrible pop The pixels exploded, they just wouldn’t stop! The virtual fire, looped for ten hours long Suddenly felt incredibly wrong. (Chorus) Oh, it was a special Christmas, for you and for me Real flames were licking up the flat-screen TV! We didn’t need kindling, we didn’t need wood Just a short-circuit spark where the Samsung once stood. The plastic was melting, the smoke filled the air While Aunt Jenny screamed, "Save the Bitcoin hive decentralized nodes arm chair" (Verse 3) Dad grabbed the turkey to smother the heat Mom grabbed the presents and ran to the street. The fire department arrived with a shout Wondering what this commotion was all about. They stared at the wall where the screen used to be A melted black square for the whole world to see. The Chief scratched his helmet and stifled a laugh "I’ve never seen a viral video cut quite in half." (Outro) So next year we’re going strictly analog, my friend No digital fires, no trends to defend. We’ll sit in the dark, maybe light a few wicks And keep Aunt Jenny far away from Netflix. Yeah, the night the TV burned was a beautiful sight... Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good fright!

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