[8-bar solo piano overture] [LADY ONE] Morning, Bab. Welcome to Boaters. What can I get you? Tea? Coffee? Something hot? [PATIENT] I've been waiting since eight. [LADY TWO] Then you'll be wanting the lot. [LADY ONE] Eggs and beans, Toast on the side, Veggie sausage? [PATIENT] Two. [LADY TWO] Long clinic? [PATIENT] Eye Casualty. [LADY TWO] Better make it three. [Piano answers] [LADIES] What can I get you, Bab? Something warm? Something sweet? Something to make four hours On those chairs Feel slightly less complete? [LADY ONE] Latte? [LADY TWO] Cappuccino? [LADY ONE] Tea? [LADY TWO] We've plenty of tea. [LADIES] Whatever brought you through those doors, Come and spend five minutes with me. [RELATIVE] Two coffees, please. [LADY ONE] What sort? [RELATIVE] Strong. [LADY TWO] That's not a sort. [RELATIVE] My husband's been dilated And I've lost him twice. [LADY TWO] Large latte. [RELATIVE] Perfect. [LADY ONE] Next, Bab! [Music becomes busier] [PATIENT TWO] Tuna sandwich. [LADY TWO] There. [PATIENT TWO] Cheese? [LADY TWO] There. [PATIENT TWO] Anything else? [LADY TWO] Curry in twenty minutes. [PATIENT TWO] I'll wait. [LADY TWO] You're getting good at that. [Small ensemble enters] [ENSEMBLE] Waiting for retina, Waiting for glaucoma, Waiting for somebody Somewhere to phone ya. Waiting for cataracts, Waiting for drops— [LADY ONE] But nobody waits When the lunch counter opens! [Orchestra flourishes] [LADY TWO] Curry! [LADY ONE] Hotpot! [LADY TWO] Rice! [LADY ONE] Mash! [CUSTOMER] Extra mash. [LADY TWO] You've already got extra mash. [CUSTOMER] I've had a difficult morning. [LADY TWO] Haven't we all? [ENSEMBLE – overlapping] One tea! Two lattes! Cappuccino here! Tuna sandwich! Curry, please! Is lunchtime nearly here? [LADY ONE] One at a time, Babs! [LADY TWO] We're a café, Not triage! [Music stops] [Beat] [ENSEMBLE] Fair point. [Piano resumes gently] [OLDER PATIENT] You've worked here long? [LADY ONE] Long enough. [OLDER PATIENT] You know everyone. [LADY TWO] Nearly. [OLDER PATIENT] You know my tea. [LADY ONE] Milk. No sugar. [OLDER PATIENT] You remembered. [LADY ONE] Course I did, Bab. [Music warms] [LADIES] Some come frightened, Some come tired, Some have waited half the day. Some need answers, Some need treatment, Some just need a place to stay— For ten small minutes, With something warm, Before they're called away. So come down to Boaters, Bab. Tea? Coffee? Something hot? You might not get the news you want... But we'll give you The best we've got. [Brief pause] [LADY TWO] Right. Enough of that. [LADY ONE] Curry? [ENSEMBLE] YES! [Fast theatrical counterpoint] [GROUP ONE] Two teas! Three coffees! One without foam! [GROUP TWO] Curry! Rice! And one to take home! [GROUP THREE] Clinic's late! Drops are in! Can't see where we've been! [LADIES] One at a time! One at a time! [Orchestra builds] [ALL] BOATERS! What can I get you, Bab? [LADY ONE] Something warm? [LADY TWO] Something sweet? [ALL] Something to make A very long day Feel just a little More complete! [Grand orchestral finish] [LADY ONE] Next, Bab! [Patient's name called faintly from clinic] [PATIENT] That's me! [LADY TWO] Leave the tray. [PATIENT] Thanks, Bab. [LADY TWO] That's my line. [Final piano chord]
