[Intro – Dispatch Girl, stern tone] "Alright team… We got a ping in J One Two Four Zero Two Three. Trespasser on grid, Green Machine left out, Chickens uncaged. Knightzshade, get eyes. Oohk, warm up the impound beam. BLiTzD, Muh, I need paperwork. WEE WOO WEE WOO—let’s roll." [Hook – All (call & response)] "UH OH!" You got caught in J-One-Two-Four-Oh-Two-Three! "UH OH!" You got caught by the W H P D! "UH OH!" You was diggin’ holes like a hungry mole! "UH OH!" Now your Mackinaw’s in our hold! [Verse 1 – Knightzshade (gritty flow)] I was ghostin’ grid waiting for Escalation Theory, Watchin’ Ulath drift with that greedy little face. He thought he’d slip in, scoop and split, But I had probes on his scent since system hit. No hall pass. No ping. No ID. Just a dirty miner in our holy J-space scene. Spotted the Buzzard too, but this ain’t no lore— This is wormhole law, and he just kicked in the door. [Verse 2 – BLiTzD (mocking cadence)] "Yo, coach said you never ran that fast!" You zoomin' in gas clouds, full throttle, no class. Trespass, theft, and those chickens loose— Your drones cryin' out like “Where’s the use?!” You left 'em fryin’, bro, they cooked in space! I’m writin’ you up for every disgrace. No ID, no shame, and your fit was trash— You just got blitzed and blitzed fast. [Verse 3 – Muh (dry sarcasm)] Let me guess, you thought it was grandma’s house? Door was open so you snuck in quiet as a mouse. But this ain’t brunch—it’s J One Two Four Zero Two Three. And your Mackinaw? Mine now, Oohk got the key. We checked your logs, your fits, your clone, Your chicken coop's a crime scene—now go home. Oh and next time, maybe ping first, yeah? Before I write “deceased” under miner welfare. [Verse 4 – Oohk (deep, cold delivery)] Impound initiated. Systems green. Suction locked, now say goodbye to your mining dream. "Vehicle abandoned." Left on scene. Not even Concord could've cleaned that screen. Evidence bagged. No appeal. No bail. Court date set with the Grinning Idiot—fail. This ain’t your playground, this is sacred land, You dig dirt here? You answer to the hand. [Bridge – Dispatch Girl, smug energy] “Deputy Mabel caught you red-handed, Mining sacred ice in a holy bandit canyon. Badge 389, eyes sharp as cyno flares. She don’t miss. You got SPLAT by the stairs.” Now you wanna talk? Complain to the Chief? He streams on Twitch—go cry your grief. Or leave ISK in the Orphan Jar. Blood Raider kids need snacks, and you ain’t gettin' far. [Final Hook – All, louder & dirtier] "UH OH!" You got caught in J-One-Two-Four-Oh-Two-Three! "UH OH!" You got caught by the W H P D! "UH OH!" No ID. No drones. No class. "UH OH!" Now your Mackinaw’s crushed in a vacuum glass. [Outro – Dispatch Girl, soft but smug] "The Lorax protects the trees… We protect the wormholes." Ping us again, Ulath. We made a note of your name.
