(Death Metal Polka – 180 BPM polka beat with blast beats and crushing riffs) (Intro – Spoken/Growled over heavy accordion + distorted guitar) In the beginning… there was polka! Then everything went to shit! YAAAAARGH! (Verse 1 – Fast growled vocals) Adam woke up in a paradise dream, Sunshine, lions dancing, everything pristine, Cows were grinning, fig trees sang along, Till the Lord said “Adam… something’s fucking wrong!” OOM-PAH-PAH! OOM-PAH-PAH! You look lonely as hell! (Chorus – Big gang shouts + heavy polka bounce) Hey! Dance around the apple tree! Spin that bitch and scream with me! Adam, Eve in the garden bright, Polka all day then fuck all night! Clap your hands! Stomp your feet! Life was sweet till the serpent’s deceit! One bite later — paradise lost, Welcome to the fall, you pathetic sacks of exhaust! (Verse 2 – Faster, more frantic) Eve was sharp, tongue quicker than a blade, Adam just smiled, half-drunk in the shade, Then came the snake with a silver-forked grin, “Hey girl, you ever tasted real sin?” Slither, hiss, temptation attack — Took one bite and the sky went black! (Chorus – Even heavier) Hey! Dance around the apple tree! Spin that partner violently! Fig leaves on, now they’re hiding in fear, God’s pissed off and the end is near! Clap your hands! Stomp your feet! Blame game started, can’t be beat! Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the snake, Everybody naked — what a mistake! (Bridge – Brutal polka breakdown, blast beats + accordion solo) OOM-PAH-PAH! The heavens roared! OOM-PAH-PAH! Angels drew their swords! Thunder cracked, the ground split wide, Kicked out the gates with a shovel and pride! Sweat on your brow, thorns in your side, Birth in pain and genocide! From Eden’s rave to this mortal cage — That’s the polka of the human age! (Final Chorus – Full chaotic death metal polka glory) Hey! Dance around humanity! From paradise straight into insanity! Every king, killer, saint and thief, Blame it on Adam and that fucking leaf! Spin around and raise your glass, Life grows wild from the fall of our ass! From perfect garden to bills and strife — This is the grand old Polka of Life! (Outro – Slow heavy accordion into crushing riff) OOM-PAH-PAH… OOM-PAH-PAH… Mind what fucking fruit you bite… Or you’ll be working till the day you die… By the sweat of your brow… YAAAAAARGH!
