I Always Go Right

[Verse 1] Standing at the fork in the road again Left is home, right is a stranger's bed I know which one I should take My feet already know the way But there's something in the wrong turn That feels like a drug Something in the losing That feels more real Than keeping ever did I keep the receipt From every taxi, every bar Every stranger's street Folded in a drawer like a museum Of every time I chose the ache Over the easy answer [Pre-Chorus] Left is warm Left is safe Right is where I learn my own name Through the thing I broke to get there [Chorus] I don't want what I lost I want the wanting That's the part that's mine The missing is a room I built myself Furnished it, lit the candles Put a chair by the window And I sit there alone Feeling the shape of what's gone Like a hole in a tooth I keep touching with my tongue Because the ache Is the only proof I was ever real [Verse 2] Thursday's receipt says 2AM Unfamiliar zip code Friday's says a bar I'll never go back to Saturday I went home early for once And couldn't sleep Because nothing hurt And nothing hurting felt like dying So Sunday I went wrong again Not because I'm broken Because the fracture is where the light gets in And the light is cold And the cold is mine And mine is the only thing I trust [Bridge] You think I'm spiraling You think I can't help myself But I've never made a mistake I didn't curate I chose this ache like a dress I picked this pain like a perfume I'm not falling I'm collecting And the collection is me Without the hurt I'm furniture I'm wallpaper I'm air Nobody notices air But everyone remembers The woman who kept choosing wrong On purpose On purpose On purpose [Chorus] I don't want what I lost I want the wanting That's the part that's mine The missing is a room I built myself Furnished it, lit the candles Put a chair by the window And I sit there alone Feeling the shape of what's gone Like a hole in a tooth I keep touching with my tongue Because the ache Is the only proof I was ever real [Outro] Left is home Right is where I feel I always go right I always go right Check the receipt File it Feel something Feel something Feel