The Glowin’ Gal from Missouri

Vintage honky-tonk swing, bluesy jazz, smoky female vocals, playful post-apocalyptic bar song, upright piano, walking double bass, brushed drums, muted trumpet, dirty tenor saxophone, subtle twang guitar, 1950s dive-bar atmosphere, cheeky call-and-response, live imperfect performance, warm analog recording, humorous and flirtatious Tempo around 115–125 BPM, enough bounce that the chorus goes: 🎵 MISSOURI MOONSHIIIINE! 🎺 BWAA-DA-DA! 🎵 GLOWIN’ FROM BEHIIIIND!

Intro, spoken over lazy piano]

Well, boys…

You can quit starin’.

Ain’t the first time somebody’s seen
a little light in Missouri.

[soft laughter, glasses clink]

[Verse 1]

Met her down in St. Louis town
Where the old street lamps had all burned down
Red dress patched and her heels worn thin
But every damn room lit up when she walked in

Bartender said, Honey, you’re glowin’ again
She said, Radiation makes a hell of a friend
Turned around slow with a grin so wide
There was enough green light to read by her backside

[Chorus]

She got that Missouri moonshine
Glowin’ from behind
Don’t need no lantern
When she’s walkin’ home at night

She got that Missouri moonshine
Lord, that woman shines
Geiger counter sings
Every time she swings
That radioactive behind

[trumpet answers]

[Verse 2]

Fellas came from settlements around
Just to see what all the talk was about
She’d roll her eyes, take another rye
Buy me a drink or quit inspectin’ my thighs

One fool stared till quarter to three
She said, Boy, you chargin’ admission for me?
Grabbed his hat, shoved it over his eyes
There, now you’re safe from the nuclear sunrise

[Chorus]

She got that Missouri moonshine
Glowin’ from behind
Brighter than a billboard
On old Route Sixty-Nine

Missouri moonshine
Sweet radioactive sign
If the front don’t get your attention
Lord have mercy, wait till she turns around

[saxophone solo, laughter, somebody pounding the bar]

[Verse 3]

Saturday night and the power went dead
Whole damn tavern went black instead
Somebody yelled, Anybody got a light?
She stood from her chair and said, Boys, I just might

Turned around once and the whole room cheered
Bartender laughed, Haven’t paid power in years
She shook her hips underneath that old sign
And somebody hollered, Thank God for moonshine!

[Chorus, rowdier]

MISSOURI MOONSHINE!
Glowin’ from behind!
Don’t need electricity
When that woman’s feelin’ fine

Missouri moonshine
Lord, that woman shines
You can lose the generator
But you’ll never lose that radioactive behind!

[piano run, drunken cheering]

[Bridge, slower]

Now she ain’t ashamed of what the fallout did
Been glowing bright since she was a kid
World got burned, but I’m still here
So pour that whiskey and bring that mirror

[pause]

…Actually…

Take the mirror away.

[bar erupts in laughter]

[Verse 4]

She’s heard every joke from here to the coast
Every drunk fool proposing a toast
But treat her right and buy her a rye
She might let you dance in the radioactive light

Step too close and she’ll straighten you out
One hard stare shuts a whole table down
She’ll tell you once, so keep it polite
The glow may be free, but the lady ain’t tonight

[Final Chorus, whole bar singing]

MISSOURI MOONSHINE!
GLOWIN’ FROM BEHIND!
She can find the bathroom
When they lose the power at night!

MISSOURI MOONSHINE!
That ghoul gal’s doin’ fine!
Two hundred years
And several beers
Still shinin’ from behind!

MISSOURI MOONSHINE!
Raise your glasses high!
If the lights go dead
Just turn her instead
And watch Missouri shine!

[wild saxophone, piano pounding, glasses clinking]

[Outro, spoken, amused]

Now quit staring, gentlemen.

[pause]

…Unless you’re buying.

[laughter, bottle clink, piano flourish]

3211/7500

Intro, spoken over lazy piano] Well, boys… You can quit starin’. Ain’t the first time somebody’s seen a little light in Missouri. [soft laughter, glasses clink] [Verse 1] Met her down in St. Louis town Where the old street lamps had all burned down Red dress patched and her heels worn thin But every damn room lit up when she walked in Bartender said, Honey, you’re glowin’ again She said, Radiation makes a hell of a friend Turned around slow with a grin so wide There was enough green light to read by her backside [Chorus] She got that Missouri moonshine Glowin’ from behind Don’t need no lantern When she’s walkin’ home at night She got that Missouri moonshine Lord, that woman shines Geiger counter sings Every time she swings That radioactive behind [trumpet answers] [Verse 2] Fellas came from settlements around Just to see what all the talk was about She’d roll her eyes, take another rye Buy me a drink or quit inspectin’ my thighs One fool stared till quarter to three She said, Boy, you chargin’ admission for me? Grabbed his hat, shoved it over his eyes There, now you’re safe from the nuclear sunrise [Chorus] She got that Missouri moonshine Glowin’ from behind Brighter than a billboard On old Route Sixty-Nine Missouri moonshine Sweet radioactive sign If the front don’t get your attention Lord have mercy, wait till she turns around [saxophone solo, laughter, somebody pounding the bar] [Verse 3] Saturday night and the power went dead Whole damn tavern went black instead Somebody yelled, Anybody got a light? She stood from her chair and said, Boys, I just might Turned around once and the whole room cheered Bartender laughed, Haven’t paid power in years She shook her hips underneath that old sign And somebody hollered, Thank God for moonshine! [Chorus, rowdier] MISSOURI MOONSHINE! Glowin’ from behind! Don’t need electricity When that woman’s feelin’ fine Missouri moonshine Lord, that woman shines You can lose the generator But you’ll never lose that radioactive behind! [piano run, drunken cheering] [Bridge, slower] Now she ain’t ashamed of what the fallout did Been glowing bright since she was a kid World got burned, but I’m still here So pour that whiskey and bring that mirror [pause] …Actually… Take the mirror away. [bar erupts in laughter] [Verse 4] She’s heard every joke from here to the coast Every drunk fool proposing a toast But treat her right and buy her a rye She might let you dance in the radioactive light Step too close and she’ll straighten you out One hard stare shuts a whole table down She’ll tell you once, so keep it polite The glow may be free, but the lady ain’t tonight [Final Chorus, whole bar singing] MISSOURI MOONSHINE! GLOWIN’ FROM BEHIND! She can find the bathroom When they lose the power at night! MISSOURI MOONSHINE! That ghoul gal’s doin’ fine! Two hundred years And several beers Still shinin’ from behind! MISSOURI MOONSHINE! Raise your glasses high! If the lights go dead Just turn her instead And watch Missouri shine! [wild saxophone, piano pounding, glasses clinking] [Outro, spoken, amused] Now quit staring, gentlemen. [pause] …Unless you’re buying. [laughter, bottle clink, piano flourish]

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