[horror introduction] [Verse 1] Have you ever been attacked by a shark? Out in the ocean, way too far from the shore in the dark It’s really scary, yeah it’s worse than you think One minute you’re swimming, next minute—blink You’re just a snack in a panic attack With a fin cutting circles and it’s coming right back But don’t you lose your head, don’t fall apart There’s a few little tricks if you’re suddenly sharked [Pre-Chorus] You don’t need gadgets, you don’t need a plan No Bat Shark Repellent in your trembling hand Just keep it together, don’t drift away There’s a weird little method to survive the day [Chorus] Punch it in the mouth—yeah, give it a shot It’ll get real confused like “hey, maybe not” Flip it on its back, mess with its track Buy yourself a moment to not be a snack But whatever you do, don’t you dare get cute No belly rubs, don’t be that fool If you wanna stay safe and not be shark food… The best thing to do is never swim, dude [Verse 2] Now listen real close, here’s the critical part You gotta act brave though you’re falling apart Wrap your arms tight, yeah hold on strong Flip that big fish like you know what’s going on It’ll freeze for a second, yeah you bought some time In a situation that’s really not fine But don’t get cocky, don’t start to grin You’re still in the water… it might wake again [Pre-Chorus] No sudden moves, keep your cool intact This isn’t the time for a cuddle attack Respect the rules of the ocean blue Or the ocean might just… respect-less you [Chorus] Punch it in the mouth—yeah, give it a shot It’ll get real confused like “hey, maybe not” Flip it on its back, mess with its track Buy yourself a moment to not be a snack But whatever you do, don’t you dare get cute No belly rubs, don’t be that fool If you wanna stay safe and not be shark food… The best thing to do is never swim, dude [Bridge] You might think, “Hey, sharks are kinda sweet” Till one decides you look like something to eat So admire from land, yeah that’s the key Be a fan of the shark—just responsibly No splashing around, no tasty display No turning yourself into ocean buffet You can learn all the tricks, memorize every whim… But none of it matters if you just don’t swim [Final Chorus] Punch it in the mouth—last line of defense Flip it quick if you’ve got the sense But the smartest move you’ll ever choose Is avoiding the headline “Local Person: Chewed” So remember this song when you’re near the blue And survival is really up to you If you wanna stay safe and not be shark food… The best thing to do is never swim, dude you should never swim
