[Intro] Yo, no more steering wheeling okay? check it! Auto-Pilot Boot up (Wait) Three Two One Engage! [Verse 1 bluesy melody samples touching and bouncing off of the lyrics] [Sample of the word "two" or "too" or "to"] Too! [Record scratching and collide with the word "-day"] -DAY I was readin' in the historic archive 'Bout a time when raw humans tried to steer to survive! Two-ton missiles of steel flyin' down the concrete Driven by hand dude half-asleep or drunk in his seat! He got blind spots the size of an entire city block Relyin' on two eyeballs and an analog clock! One second checkin' texts, eyes stuck on his screen Driftin' three whole lanes in a blow-up smoke machine! Left the blinker clickin' through thick fog eleven miles straight Then slammed on the brakes 'cause he saw a license plate! [Chorus] Dude be willin' (Yo, what was wrong with that kid?), WHEELIN' Dude be willin', WHEELIN' Dude be willin', WHEELIN' Dude be willin', WHEELIN', steering wheelin' [Verse 2] Way back when, they had signs sayin' "Zipper merge ahead" Fifty people speedin' up just to get blocked out instead! Still angry worry fa nothin', veins poppin' out they neck Risked twenty five to life and could cause a major wreck! Tailgatin' two inches from the bumper in the rain Testin' ones own luck relyin' on reflexes too much and built up emotion in the brain! A deer hopped the guardrail, dude panicked at the sight Jerked the wheel all the way from the left into the right! Spun around in a circle, took a mailbox clean And blamed it on the fog on his plastic windshield screen! [Chorus] You be willin', WHEELIN' You be willin', WHEELIN' You be willin', wheelin' (Yo, tell 'em how they manually drove!) They be willin', WHEELIN', steering wheelin' [Verse 3] [record scratching] .. -Back in twenty-twenty-something, check the irony, bro: They bought eight-lane expressways nowhere to go! Built a six-hundred-horsepower monster machine To sit idle in a traffic jam burnin' gasoline! Inches forward for an hour, sweatin' buckets in the sun and smog Honkin' on the plastic horn barkin' like a dog! They invented cruise control, lane-assist, and LiDAR too Turned 'em all right off sayin' "I know what to do!" Fell asleep at seventy, droolin' on the seat Woke up in a drainage ditch upside down on How Street! [Chorus] They be wheelin', wheelin' (You see what their problem was?) They be wheelin', wheelin' (Run it back, what happened next?) They be wheelin', wheelin', steering wheelin' [Verse 4] The craziest part of the whole historical trend: They knew human error caused crashes yet the story doesn't end! Ninety-four percent crashes made by big sleepy human being heads Yet they fought against the sensors and the robo-drives instead! [bridge solo with bass] Talkin' 'bout "I fight for your freedom" and then they hydroplanin' free! Wrapped a shiny new sedan 'round a fifty-year-old tree! Lookin' at the wreckage with a bandage on his head Said "Self-drivin' cars is dangerous!"—that's really what he said! [Chorus] They be willin', wheelin' (Wheelin'? Man, we just floatin' now) They be willin', wheelin' (Yo, what was they doin'?) They be willin', WHEELIN', steering wheelin' [Outro] Hold up... you tellin' me they put millions of sleepy, angry people... In six-thousand-pound steel boxes... Movin' opposite directions at eighty miles per hour... Separated by a painted yellow line on gravel?! And no computer in charge?! Man, ancient Earth folks was definitely willin' steering wheelin' steering wheelin'
