[Intro — whispered, intimate] They keep telling me they see a light… I nod my head like I know what they mean… But I spent so many nights in the dark I forgot what the hell they could see. [Verse 1 — soft spoken rap] I thought the goal was just surviving, Keeping these shadows underneath my skin, Making sure my eyes don’t turn black, Making sure the worst of me doesn’t win. So I learned how to hide the damage, Learned how to smile when I couldn’t breathe, Built a cage around every monster And convinced myself that cage was me. But somebody looked at me and said, “There’s something different in your eyes,” And I almost laughed at the thought ’Cause I know every war I hide. [Chorus — soft, emotional, melodic] Maybe I’ve been staring at the darkness So long I forgot the sun was there, Maybe all this time I’ve been protecting Something beautiful I couldn’t see anywhere. They say there’s a light inside me, But I don’t know where it begins, Maybe I’ve been so busy taming demons I forgot I’m more than what I’ve kept within. Maybe I’m not what I survived, Maybe I’m not the things I’ve done, Maybe I’ve been fighting to save myself While everybody else could see the one. [Verse 2 — quiet emotional rap] I measured myself by every mistake, Every scar, every name that I broke, Every promise I couldn’t keep, Every night that I barely spoke. I thought darkness was my inheritance, Thought pain was the language I knew, So when somebody called me good, I couldn’t understand what they were looking through. How can they see something I can’t? How can they find gold under all this rust? Maybe they aren’t seeing who I was, Maybe they’re seeing who I’m becoming because— I never let the darkness take everything, Even when it begged me to give in, I kept one little piece of myself alive When I didn’t even know why I did. Maybe that’s the light they’re talking about, Not perfection, not some holy disguise, Maybe it’s the fact that after everything, I still look for something worth keeping alive. [Chorus — slightly bigger, emotional] Maybe I’ve been staring at the darkness So long I forgot the sun was there, Maybe all this time I’ve been protecting Something beautiful I couldn’t see anywhere. They say there’s a light inside me, But I don’t know where it begins, Maybe I’ve been so busy taming demons I forgot I’m more than what I’ve kept within. Maybe I’m not what I survived, Maybe I’m not the things I’ve done, Maybe I’ve been fighting to save myself While everybody else could see the one. [Bridge — almost whispered] What if the darkness isn’t who I am? What if it’s just what I learned to carry? What if every time I thought I was losing myself… I was actually finding the parts I refused to let die? Maybe they see it because I’m too close. Maybe you can’t see your own light when you’ve spent your whole life standing between it and the dark. [Final Chorus — emotional, stripped back] Maybe I’ve been staring at the darkness So long I forgot the sun was there, Maybe all this time I’ve been protecting Something beautiful I couldn’t see anywhere. They say there’s a light inside me, And maybe I don’t have to understand, Maybe I’ve been so busy fighting shadows I forgot the light was in my hands. Maybe I’m not what I survived, Maybe I’m not the things I’ve done, Maybe I’ve been fighting to save myself While everybody else could see the one. [Outro — whispered, fading] So if you see something in me that I still can’t recognize… Don’t tell me I’m perfect. Just remind me I’m still here. ‘Cause maybe that’s the light. Maybe it’s not something I have to find. Maybe… I’ve been carrying it the whole damn time.
