i paid my memories just to get inside left my name at the gate, left my face outside got a number on my wrist, got a room underground every time i try to leave, i end up where i found there's a man at the elevator who never looks up he asks me what i lost, then he asks me what it cost i told him "nothing" and he smiled like he knew said "everybody says that when they're lying to you" the clocks don't have hands here, they just breathe every hour takes a memory when it leaves i watched a stranger walk past wearing my old shoes he looked exactly like me, but he knew more than i knew purgatory ain't fire, it ain't heaven, it ain't pain it's a hallway with a thousand doors that all lead to the same every door has someone's name, every name could be mine and every time i open one, i lose another piece of time i saw my childhood sitting underneath a streetlight smoking on a cigarette, staring at me all night it said, "you left me here when you decided not to care" then it disappeared before i could even get near there's a vending machine selling pieces of your past one coin for a first kiss, two coins for your last i had no coins left, so i tried to walk away the machine whispered my mother's name and made me stay i keep hearing footsteps but nobody's behind me i keep seeing faces that swear they used to know me i keep finding exits that open to the entrance maybe this place ain't trapping me maybe i'm the sentence purgatory where the lost don't disappear purgatory where your memories volunteer purgatory i'm not dead, i'm not alive i'm just waiting for a version of myself that never learned to hide the walls started breathing when i said my real name every light went out and nothing looked the same all the doors unlocked, every hallway disappeared and something in the darkness whispered, "you've been here for years" now i'm running through a city made of things i regret every building is a moment that i haven't escaped yet the sky is upside down, all the stars are below and the people on the pavement are the people i don't know i found one final door with my name carved in gold no handle, no lock, just a message to unfold it said, "you can leave right now, but here's the price" i asked, "what is it?" the door said, "your life." so i stood there laughing cause i finally understood purgatory wasn't punishment purgatory was a choice i could stay here forever where nothing ever changes or walk through that door and become someone dangerous purgatory don't know where i belong purgatory been here way too long purgatory if i leave, i lose it all so i'll break the fucking ceiling before i answer when it calls
