[intro] [verse] The gentleman in the plaid shirt is my sister Helen's boyfriend He works at the village tavern and eats bacon and potatoes at night [chorus] (Oh, Mr. Alfred Chamberlain It's true you look very good You should give up greasy foods or you'll have a heart attack) [bridge] [Verse 2] The lady in the floral dress works out at the city gym She doesn't smoke, nor does she eat fat but she's just an old spinster [chorus] (Oh, madam, my respects to you You have a beautiful figure I'd like to invite you to my house so you can talk to Mr. Chamberlain) [outro] Some take great care of their health and neglect the art of love others are lucky in love but their health is the worst God gives you this wonderful life only you must know how to take care of it Love, but learn to love yourself I assure you that you will live better
