If I were king Heads would roll Christmas stockings Stuffed with coal No more sugar No caffeine I would cancel Halloween It would be a beautiful thing If only i were king Were I the king I'd banish cars And plastic cups For Mason jars I'd turn back time To yesteryear And watch pollution Disappear It would be a beautiful thing If only i were king I'd outlaw fun I'd outlaw joy I'd mandate that You must eat soy I'd burn the bibles Burn the flags I'd ban the bra So boobs would sag It would be a beautiful thing If only I were king It would be a beautiful thing If only I were king If only I were king