Verse 1: Drove all day in the diesel grind, Needed a beer to rest my mind. Found a stool, thought “This feels right,” Then pain shot up like a bolt of light. Chorus: I sat on my nuts! (oh lord above!) Hit a high note no man should love. The crowd went quiet, I yelled “I’m fine!” Just lost my dignity, not my spine. Verse 2: Barkeep laughed till he lost his grip, Friends all howled with a camera flip. I raised my glass, said, “Boys, don’t fuss— A man learns pain builds character... and dust.” Chorus: I sat on my nuts! (the crowd joins in!) Soprano soul in a barroom sin. They bought me shots, I took my lumps, Now I walk like I’m haulin’ stumps. Verse 3: Then she came up with a grin so wide, Said, “Darlin’, I can ease that side.” She reached back slow, the bar went still, Grabbed some peanuts, showed some skill. Bridge: She poured ‘em out, said, “Snack on these, You crushed your peanuts, not your... dreams.” Final Chorus: I sat on my nuts! (ain’t love grand?) Peanut dust all over my brand-new pants. She laughed and said, “Honey, drink’s on me!” Now the bar’s one big harmony— Tag (crowd chant): I SAT ON MY NUTS!
