Born to be Metal

Oh no—I'm stuck in a sea of hands, Clapping along, singing real strong, I don’t belong in this land. Everything’s so squeaky clean, The beat’s too soft, the mood’s too bright— But where’s the double kick? Where’s the pit? I’m breaking out in hives! I see the mic stand, it calls my name, A power chord away from bringing the pain, Just one good growl could save the day— BUT THEN— "My love, nooo—" she says, "not today!" "You promised one night, just sit and behave!" I wanna shred, I wanna scream, But she’s got my sleeve— And now I can’t leave! Oh, I’m trapped… in a pop concert! The singer’s talking ‘bout a broken heart, I wanna show her what a breakdown is, Throw some growls, tear this place apart! They clap in rhythm, it's kinda cute, But I need blast beats, Or I might implode inside this shiny venue! "Babe, don’t you dare." "Just one guttural—" "NO." "Fine. But I’m dying." I see the stage lights, I see the crowd, Just let me chug one brutal sound, They won’t know what hit ‘em—until they do— BUT THEN— "My love, nooo—" she says, "not today!" "You promised one night, just sit and behave!" I wanna shred, I wanna scream, But she’s got my sleeve— And now I can’t leave! Oh, I’m trapped… in a pop concert! Okay… okay… I’ll sit here and stay… I’ll play along, enjoy the song… Just be a normal guy toda— "Can I at least headbang?" "No." "What if I just… whispers a growl?" "NO." "…please?" "Sigh Fine. But small."