All right, family reunion—please keep your auras inside the venue. My higher self brought the ancestors. They came through the astral portal. One of them asked if there’s parking validation. They say, “We’ve watched you through lifetimes. We know your deepest truth.” I said, “Great—then you know my password. I’ve been locked out since Tuesday.” Grandpa Avatar floats in, dressed like a royal sage, Then squints at the buffet and says, “Is this gluten-free across every age?” My ancestors are ancient, wise, and full of grace— They’ve seen the dawn of humankind and still can’t find the place. They say, “You chose this life, child, every challenge, every test.” I said, “I picked the family group chat too? That one’s not my best.” Higher self, lower expectations! Ancient souls with modern notifications! Welcome to the reunion, please take a seat— The whole bloodline’s transcending to a breakbeat! They’re giving me advice from twelve dimensions back: “Release attachment, breathe deep, and don’t react.” Then Auntie from Atlantis sends a text: “Who brought the dip?” The enlightened ones are arguing about the playlist and the ship. One says, “We were pharaohs!” One says, “We were stars!” One’s just trying to remember where they parked their astral cars. My higher self says, “You are limitless. You are pure potential.” I said, “Can you use that to make this meeting less consequential?” They all go silent, full of cosmic understanding— Then ask me to help with the projector. It’s not connecting. Higher self, lower expectations! Ancient souls with modern notifications! Welcome to the reunion, please take a seat— The whole bloodline’s transcending to a breakbeat! We’re one with the universe. We’re love beyond all names. And someone’s got the leftovers—please label all the trays.
