--- [Verse 1 — old-time folk] Freight train ridin', freight train ridin', Ridin', ridin' down the track, Freight train ridin', freight train ridin', Into the sunset, hold on to your sack. Freight train ridin', freight train ridin', Steel wheels sing beneath the sky, Freight train ridin', freight train ridin', Ain't got no home nowhere, don't ask me why. [SCRATCH] [Spoken — angry interruption] wait a minute! wait a minute! You still doing that shit? You STILL doing that shit? Fool - please! What the fuck are you doing? You ain't no fuckin' train rider! You're a motherfucker! A poser! A lying sack of shit! --- Whoa, whoa, whoa, honey! Honey listen... [Yodel rap:] Hobo Billy. Riding on an eastbound freight train, speeding through the night, Hobo Bill, a railroad bum, was fighting for his life, The sadness of his eyes revealed the torture of his soul, He raised a weak and weary hand to brush away the cold. [Yodel:] Hobo Billy. [Verse 2 — folk music returns] I call bullshit on it You can't cook grits, You can't camp outside, You sleep indoors With your bitch by your side. You got a mattress, You got a fridge, You got a goddamn shower That you take with said fat bitch! [Spoken] —and a fucking Wi-Fi connection! [Verse 3] Freight train ridin', freight train ridin', Million views every week, Freight train ridin', freight train ridin', Eight bucks a thousand — ain't that sweet? --- Whoa, whoa, whoa, honey! Honey listen! [Yodel rap:] Hobo Billy. Outside the rain was falling on that lonely boxcar door, But the little form of Hobo Bill lay still upon the floor, While the train sped through the darkness and the raging storm outside, No one knew that Hobo Bill was taking his last ride. [Yodel:] Hobo Billy. [Spoken] Bullshit more or less... Motherfucker, you're not homeless! You're Hobosexual!! [Chorus] Freight train rider, Rider of the rail, Sleeping in a warm bed While you're telling us you're broke as hell Freight train rider, King of the track, Don't forget your YouTube check Before you hit the sack. --- And don't talk about That F-T-R-A crew— Motherfucker, you ain't Paid a membership due! [BREAK — SPOKEN] "Freight Train Riders of America"? Motherfucker, YOU ain't seen Freight Train Riders of America. You're Freight Train Riders of YouTube Premium. --- Whoa, whoa, whoa, honey! Honey listen... ... [ yodel rap] It was early in the morning when they raised the hobo's head, The smile still lingered on his face, but Hobo Bill was dead; There was no mother's longing to soothe his weary soul, He was nothing but a railroad bum who died out in the cold. [ o no!!] [ i call fake news on that one] [ a bullshit that is] [ Musical interlude] Honey listen... [ END]
