I decided to lose some weight, I thought, “This shouldn’t be hard!” So I bought myself some sneakers And a gym membership card. I walked around the neighborhood, I counted every step, I tried every miracle diet That the internet had kept. “Just cut the carbs!” they told me. “Just drink more water, girl!” I tried so many healthy tips I nearly left this world. Then came the latest miracle, The one they all adore, I thought, “Maybe this will do the trick…” But honestly? I wanted cake some more. I tried to lose some weight, I tried to change my fate, I worked out, walked around, And watched my dinner plate. I could be thin and furious, Complaining all day long, Or I could be a little round And dance along to my favorite song! So I made a bold decision: I’m done with this campaign. I’d rather be happy in my body Than skinny with a brain full of pain! I realized one morning While staring at my toast: “What if being happy Is actually the thing I want the most?” So I canceled all the battles, I retired from the race. I stopped declaring war On every inch of my own space. I said, “Goodbye, perfection! You’re exhausting, by the way.” And suddenly my mood improved By approximately… Tuesday. I tried to lose some weight, I tried the whole parade: The gym, the walks, the diets, Every promise ever made. But being thin and grumpy Was really not my style. I’d rather keep my curves And have a genuine smile! Then I started up a blog Now listen to my plan: I give advice to everybody On how to become a healthier fan! “Get moving! Make good choices! Be consistent! Set your goals!” I nod with great authority… Then quietly eat my rolls. They’re doing lunges in the living room, They’re counting every bite, I’m sitting there with popcorn Thinking, “Wow… they’re doing great tonight.” I’m cheering from the sidelines: “Come on! You can do it! Remember: moderation!” And then I order pizza. I decided to lose some weight, Then decided I was fine. I stopped chasing some imaginary “Perfect” finish line. Now my blog is full of wisdom, My followers are inspired, They’re sweating through their workouts… While I’m happily retired. So here’s my final message, And honestly, it’s true: Your body isn’t a project That you have to constantly redo. Be kind to yourself, enjoy your life, And laugh along the way. I’ll be here giving fitness advice… From my couch. Every day : “Ten thousand steps!” (…Tomorrow.) “Drink more water!” (…After my coffee.) “Believe in yourself!” (Now that one I can do.)
