Clarence Washington — I Can’t Get It Up (1978)

[Intro — Disco Bass, Wah Guitar, Hi-Hat] [Clarence — spoken, frustrated] I've been out here twenty minutes. Pullin' on it... Pushin' on it... Tried both hands... And I hate to admit this... But Clarence... can't get it up. [Background Singers] (He can't get it uuuuup!) [Clarence] Don't tell the whole neighborhood! [Verse 1] Got home late about a quarter to nine Baby said, “Clarence, everything alright?” I said, “Give me a minute, I'm workin' on mine” Been yankin' this thing since a quarter past nine I pushed that button, nothing came Pulled that handle, still the same Baby said, “Maybe you're doing it wrong” I said, “Woman, I've been doing this all night long!” [Pre-Chorus] I tried it fast I tried it slow I gave it everything I know But every time I think it's ready to go— That damn thing hangs down low! [CHORUS — BIG DISCO-SOUL] I CAN'T GET IT UP! (Get it up! Get it up!) No matter how hard I try! I CAN'T GET IT UP! (Get it up! Get it up!) And baby, I don't know why! Been pushin' all night Pullin' with all my might But something ain't working right— I CAN'T GET IT UP! [Horn HIT] [Clarence] ...The garage door, baby. What'd YOU think I meant? [Verse 2] Neighbor came over with a toolbox in hand Said, “Step aside, Clarence, let me understand” He grabbed that thing and gave it a tug Looked back at me and just kinda shrugged Then my woman stepped outside Said, “Maybe it needs a little help from behind?” [Clarence] Now hold on, baby... [Background Singers] (CLARENCE!) [Clarence] I'm talking about the DOOR! She pushed from the bottom, I pulled from the top We gave it everything that we got Three good tries, then I heard something pop— [Music stops] [Clarence] Everybody quit touching it. [CHORUS] I CAN'T GET IT UP! (Clarence can't get it up!) Been working that thing all night! I CAN'T GET IT UP! (Something ain't right!) Used to go up just fine! I pushed the button twice I even asked it nice But it's hanging there tonight— I CAN'T GET IT UP! [BREAKDOWN — Drums, Bass & Wah] [Clarence — soul preacher] Listen! A man gets to a certain point in his life... He expects certain things... When he pushes that button... He expects... A RESPONSE! [Background Singers] (A RESPONSE!) [Clarence] I paid good money for this equipment! (GOOD MONEY!) I keep it lubricated! (LUBRICATED!) I have it serviced twice a year! (TWICE A YEAR!) So when Clarence pushes that button... I expect that thing... TO RISE! [Band explodes] [Clarence] Take me to the hardware store! [Final Chorus] I CAN'T GET IT UP! (Get it up! Get it up!) Somebody give me a hand! I CAN'T GET IT UP! (Get it up! Get it up!) This wasn't part of the plan! Pull on the chain! Try it again! Call me a repairman— I CAN'T! GET! IT! UP! [Outro] [Background Singer] Clarence... did you check the breaker? [Silence] [Click] [Garage door motor starts] [Clarence] ........... Baby. We don't ever speak of this again.