Doctor Gruncle’s Cure

Power metal, glam rock, high pitched male vocals, technical guitar work, keytar, 80's style

V5.5

[Verse 1] 
She walked in my office, 
legs tighter than a nun’s ass 
Tits perky, eyes wide, 
said “Doc, I’m still a virgin – this sucks!” 
I slammed the chart down, 
grinned ear-to-ear like a perv 
“Girl, you got Terminal Cherry – but I got the perfect cure!”
I dropped my stethoscope, 
unzipped real slow 
Pulled out twelve inches of rock-hard medicine, 
watch it grow 
No pills, no shots, no bullshit prescription 
Just balls-deep injection – 
that’s my medical mission!
[Pre-Chorus] 
I said “Open up wide, baby, this ain’t gonna hurt… 
Well, maybe a little – but you’re gonna squirt!"

[Chorus – big dumb sing-along, crowd screams every “cure!”] 
MY COCK IS THE CURE! (CURE! CURE!) 
For your horrible V-card disease, yeah! 
MY COCK IS THE CURE! (CURE! CURE!) 
Gonna ram it in deep and pop that cherry, please! 
Pump it, hump it, fill you with my cream 
Turn you from pure little girl to a cum-guzzlin’ dream! 
MY COCK IS THE CURE! (Whoa-oh-oh-oh!) 
MY COCK IS THE CURE!

[Verse 2] 
I got the rubber gloves… 
but I ain’t wearin’ shit 
Gonna tongue-punch your hymen 
till it throws a fit 
Your pussy’s so tight it’s like a Chinese finger trap 
But after one thrust of Doctor Dick 
you’ll be clappin’ back!
I’ll stretch you out, wreck you out, make your momma proud You’ll be walkin’ bow-legged screamin’ “Fuck me louder!” 
No more “good girl” – now you’re my personal whore 
One load of Panther spunk and you ain’t pure no more!

[Pre-Chorus 2] 
I said “Take it all, baby, don’t you fight it” 
My balls are the vaccine – 
get ready to get cited!

[Guitar Solo – Eddie Van Halen on coke meets Scumdog thrash, 45 seconds of pure “tappity-tap-splurt” insanity]

[Bridge – half-time, nasty] 
Now you’re drippin’ cum and blood on my exam table 
No more virgin, baby – you’re officially unstable! 
If the disease comes back… 
you know who to call Doctor Gruncle – 
open 24 hours, y’all!

[Final Chorus – gang vocals, crowd loses their minds]
MY COCK IS THE CURE! (CURE! CURE!) 
For your horrible V-card disease, yeah! 
MY COCK IS THE CURE! (CURE! CURE!) 
Gonna ram it in deep and pop that cherry, please! 
Pump it, hump it, fill you with my cream 
Turn you from pure little girl to a cum-guzzlin’ dream! 
MY COCK IS THE CURE! (Whoa-oh-oh-oh!) 
MY COCK IS THE CURE!

[Outro – chant while riff fades] 
Cure! Cure! Cure! Cure! 
(Doctor Gruncle, baby… best fuck you ever had!) 
CURE!

3010/7500

[Intro – sleazy talk-over riff]  Yo, baby… I see you tremblin’ in that paper gown…  You got the worst fuckin’ disease in the world… VIRGINITY!  But don’t you worry, sugar tits…  Doctor Gruncle’s got the one-shot cure hangin’ right here in my pants! [Verse 1]  She walked in my office, legs tighter than a nun’s ass  Tits perky, eyes wide, said “Doc, I’m still a virgin – this sucks!”  I slammed the chart down, grinned ear-to-ear like a perv  “Girl, you got Terminal Cherry – but I got the perfect cure!” I dropped my stethoscope, unzipped real slow  Pulled out twelve inches of rock-hard medicine, watch it grow  No pills, no shots, no bullshit prescription  Just balls-deep injection – that’s my medical mission! [Pre-Chorus]  I said “Open up wide, baby, this ain’t gonna hurt…  Well, maybe a little – but you’re gonna squirt!" [Chorus – big dumb sing-along, crowd screams every “cure!”]  MY COCK IS THE CURE! (CURE! CURE!)  For your horrible V-card disease, yeah!  MY COCK IS THE CURE! (CURE! CURE!)  Gonna ram it in deep and pop that cherry, please!  Pump it, hump it, fill you with my cream  Turn you from pure little girl to a cum-guzzlin’ dream!  MY COCK IS THE CURE! (Whoa-oh-oh-oh!) MY COCK IS THE CURE! [Verse 2]  I got the rubber gloves… but I ain’t wearin’ shit  Gonna tongue-punch your hymen till it throws a fit  Your pussy’s so tight it’s like a Chinese finger trap  But after one thrust of Doctor Dick you’ll be clappin’ back! I’ll stretch you out, wreck you out, make your momma proud You’ll be walkin’ bow-legged screamin’ “Fuck me louder!”  No more “good girl” – now you’re my personal whore  One load of Panther spunk and you ain’t pure no more! [Pre-Chorus 2]  I said “Take it all, baby, don’t you fight it”  My balls are the vaccine – get ready to get cited! [Chorus – big dumb sing-along, crowd screams every “cure!”]  MY COCK IS THE CURE! (CURE! CURE!)  For your horrible V-card disease, yeah!  MY COCK IS THE CURE! (CURE! CURE!)  Gonna ram it in deep and pop that cherry, please!  Pump it, hump it, fill you with my cream  Turn you from pure little girl to a cum-guzzlin’ dream!  MY COCK IS THE CURE! (Whoa-oh-oh-oh!) MY COCK IS THE CURE! [Guitar Solo – Eddie Van Halen on coke meets Scumdog thrash, 45 seconds of pure “tappity-tap-splurt” insanity] [Bridge – half-time, nasty]  Now you’re drippin’ cum and blood on my exam table  No more virgin, baby – you’re officially unstable!  If the disease comes back… you know who to call Doctor Gruncle – open 24 hours, y’all! [Final Chorus – gang vocals, crowd loses their minds] MY COCK IS THE CURE! (CURE! CURE!)  For your horrible V-card disease, yeah!  MY COCK IS THE CURE! (CURE! CURE!)  Gonna ram it in deep and pop that cherry, please!  Pump it, hump it, fill you with my cream  Turn you from pure little girl to a cum-guzzlin’ dream!  MY COCK IS THE CURE! (Whoa-oh-oh-oh!) MY COCK IS THE CURE! [Outro – chant while riff fades]  Cure! Cure! Cure! Cure!  (Doctor Gruncle, baby… best fuck you ever had!)  CURE!

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