Skin Reveal: Accidental Furry Oba. You tried to generate a sweet golden retriever in a sweater, and the AI gave you a bipedal wolf-man in cargo pants hitting a bong on a park bench. He used to be a fierce, blood-soaked beast, then a sleepy good boy in the flowers, and now he's just a heavily-pursued stoner trying to avoid the internet's absolute worst thirst traps. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- They told me I was a fierce beast of the woods. They told me I was a sleepy companion. Now I'm sitting on this concrete in a knit sweater, dodging the DMs. Dawn... it's just you and me today, girl. First one approaches, kicking rocks down the street Itty bitty committee with a TikTok beat She’s a tomboy gamer with the baggy Vans Saying, "Oba, let’s co-op, I'm changing your plans!" She’s bumping sad-girl Suno, she’s holding a controller Acting like a lone wolf, but I'm getting older She wants to hold my paw, she wants to share a stream But I’m just trying to pack my glass and live the dream. I look at her headset, I look at the sky... I tell her, "Sorry little bro, I'm already high." I just wanna be a good boy! Sitting on the steps in my oversized knit! I don’t want your drama, I don’t want your fit! Got my glass girl Dawn right here in my hand! The only one in Elsinar who can understand! They're blowing up my phone, trying to pet the fur, But I'm sparking Northern Kush, the whole world is a blur! The sky goes dark. The gravity shifts. Here comes the goth mommy emerging from the rifts. Fishnets, Demonia boots, and a cake so unstable It's breaking the physics, it's shaking the table. She whispers, "Good boy," with a hand on my knee, An ocean of thighs staring right back at me. I ain't gonna lie... I almost caved to the void. My lighter was shaking, my chakras destroyed. I looked at that cake, ready to drown in the sea... But Dawn was sitting there, waiting for me. I took a massive rip straight to the chest, Said, "Begone, dark temptress, I'm passing the test!" I thought I was safe. I thought I was free. Then the final boss walked right up to my tree. An emo femboy gamer. The ultimate trap. With a Monster Energy and a cat-ear cap. He turns around slowly... shows the puppy plug tail. Says, "I got a fur fetish, Oba. Let's go off the rail." The combo is lethal. The stats are maxed out. The hardest persuasion to ever cast doubt. He wants to be my pet, he wants to bark at the moon! God, give me strength for this hazy afternoon! I load up the Northern Kush, I spark up the green. The strangest damn timeline that I've ever seen. I don't need the tomboy, the goth, or the pup... Just a fresh bowl of flower packed to the very top. Me and Dawn blowing smoke to the orange sky. Just a bipedal wolf, watching the clouds roll by. Yeah. Who's a good boy? I'm a good boy. (Fades out on the sound of bubbling water)
