[Meta-Tags: Voice=Chill Male Rapper Tempo=Slow Genre=Lofi Hip Hop] [Intro - vinyl crackle and mellow electric piano and lofi drum break] (Yeah... just chill...) (Let's sort this data out... lay it back...) [Verse 1 - chill male rapper and dusty drum break and deep bass] Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Plot The Data Point villagers lived in a knot. They had fifty dimensions - a terrible plight! (So messy...) They couldn’t be graphed and they couldn't stand right. One dot cried "I’m weight but I’m also a shoe! I have eighty-four features I don’t have a clue!" (Say what?) [Pre-Chorus - atmospheric synth and warm electric piano] They floated in space a chaotic array Until a wise wizard came riding their way. (Watch him work...) [Chorus - melodic male rap and jazz chords and smooth lofi beat] Oh bring in the magic bring in the math! To clear up the clutter and carve out a path. Sir PCA flattens the world to a floor And the Duke of Mean-KV will sort out the score! Heave-ho dimensions must go! (Let 'em go...) Watch how the variance dictates the show! [Verse 2 - chill male rapper and stripped back beat and vinyl crackle] Sir Percy C.A. (PCA to his friends) Looked at the data from all of its ends. He said "My dear villagers listen to me You don't need these features you only need three! (Just three...) Or maybe just two! Let us look at the spread I’ll find the best angle to clear up your head." (Clear it up...) He drew a long line through the widest of gaps The Principal Axis the king of the maps! He threw out the noise and the uncorrelated junk And squished fifty features right into a trunk. "Behold!" shouted Percy "You've lost some detail But now you fit neatly right onto my scale!" (Perfect fit...) [Chorus - melodic male rap and layered harmonies and smooth lofi beat] Oh bring in the magic bring in the math! To clear up the clutter and carve out a path. Sir PCA flattens the world to a floor And the Duke of Mean-KV will sort out the score! Heave-ho dimensions must go! (Let 'em go...) Watch how the variance dictates the show! [Spoken Word Bridge - soft spoken male voice and muted piano and no drums] The data was flat but still lived in a blob So Duke Mean-KV came to finish the job. (He’s K-Means to scholars but KV to the Crown...) He said "We need factions to organize town. I’ll pick a K number - let's go with a three - And drop three big tents down for all dots to see! These tents are the Centroids! Now listen to me: Run to the tent that is closest to thee!" The dots scurried over out of breath out of puff But the Duke shook his head "No that isn't enough!" (Hold up... we ain't done yet...) [Instrumental Solo - mellow saxophone and chillhop beat and deep sub bass] [Verse 3 - chill male rapper and groovy lofi bassline and head nodding beat] "The people have gathered but look at the space The tent is no longer the dead-center place! We must find the AVERAGE! We must find the MEAN! The funniest square-dance that ever was seen!" (Step to the left...) So the tents shuffled over to stand in the middle While the villagers scrambled to keep up the fiddle. Recalculate! Shift! Recalculate! Move! (Slide...) Until they sank into a perfectly groove. When nobody shifted the centroids stood still Three beautiful clusters sat under the hill! (Vibes...) [Chorus - melodic male rap and layered harmonies and smooth lofi beat] Oh bring in the magic bring in the math! To clear up the clutter and carve out a path. Sir PCA flattens the world to a floor And the Duke of Mean-KV will sort out the score! Heave-ho dimensions must go! (Let 'em go...) Watch how the variance dictates the show! [Outro - slow fading beat and melodic electric piano and atmospheric vinyl dust] So if your big data is hurting your brain And staring at spreadsheets is driving you vain Remember the fable of this little place: Let PCA shrink down your feature-rich space! Then call Duke Mean-KV to drop down his tents He’ll group up your dots till it all makes good sense! (Yeah... makes perfect sense.)
