[INTRO – spoken, filtered] Test tubes shaking… Lab coats ready… Tonight… we dance for diagnosis. [VERSE 1 – PATHOLOGY | Melissa & Tina] Melissa: Slide on the table, stain looking right, I read a tissue like a headline at night. Tina: Margins clean, yeah we see it all, From tiny biopsy to the biggest call. Both: Cut it, stain it, sign it with pride, Final answer standing on our side. [PRE-CHORUS – melodic lift] Every sample wants the truth tonight, Who’s got the word that seals it tight? [CHORUS – FULL ABBA-STYLE HOOK] 🎶 Lab-loo! I was beaten, you were stronger, Lab-loo! Pathology lasts longer, Oh-oh-oh! The lab was dancing tonight, oh yeah! 🎶 [RAP VERSE – MICROBIOLOGY | Lathika] Petri dish glowing, colonies rise, Gram-positive truth under UV lights. You need me first, don’t act surprised, No micro results, you’re blind, my guys. Spin that plate, let the cultures speak, I bring the bugs every single week! (FX: microscope beep, centrifuge spin) [CHORUS – SHORT / BOUNCY] 🎶 Lab-loo! Everybody shouting too, Lab-loo! Who’s running this lab, who? 🎶 [RAP VERSE – GROSS PA | Carmine] Buckets rolling, labels tight, If it’s in the lab, I brought it tonight. Big or small, weird or gross, I don’t judge, I just decompose. No grossing, no story, remember the rule, I feed the lab, yeah, that’s the fuel. (FX: label printer, plastic bucket thump) [BREAK – YOU | awkward spoken] I’m just… standing here… Holding the paperwork… Please stop yelling… I just work here… [BUILD-UP – PATHOLOGY RETURNS] Tina: Bugs may grow and buckets may roll, Melissa: But diagnosis? That’s our role. Both: When the music stops and the lights turn blue, The final word is signed by who? [FINAL CHORUS – BIG, TRIUMPHANT] 🎶 Lab-loo! It was over when you knew, Lab-loo! Pathology pulled it through, Oh-oh-oh! The lab stopped fighting tonight, oh yeah! 🎶 [OUTRO – CELEBRATION] Lathika: Alright Melissa… respect. Carmine: Sharp calls. Clean work. All (chant): Me-lis-sa! Me-lis-sa! 🎶 Lab-loo… Pathology wins it for you! 🎶 🏆🧬
