[Intro - spoken, amused] Well, this is new. [Short beat] Usually I’m on the other side of the pitch. [Verse 1] I know how to open, I know how to close Know when to push and when to let it go I know the objection before they can speak And somehow today, the objection is me I’ve built the pipeline, worked every lead Turned “not interested” into “that’s what we need” Now I’m dressed up nice with a résumé Trying to explain why you should buy me today [Pre-Chorus - building] So let’s qualify No reason to spin You need somebody I need somewhere to win You’ve got a vacancy I’ve got the pedigree Funny how simple the pitch gets When the product is me [Chorus - full groove] The product is me Go ahead, take a look Strong value proposition With results in the books The product is me No free trial, no warranty But if you need somebody who can sell it Baby, the product is me I know, I know It’s a little absurd I spent my whole career Selling somebody else’s words Now the table has turned What a sight to see The salesman’s on display And the product is me [Verse 2 - playful, rhythmic] Let’s talk pain points, what keeps you awake? Pipeline too quiet? Deals starting to shake? Prospects go missing somewhere after hello? Good news, I know a guy who knows where they go I can run discovery, build out the case Find the real problem hiding under the phrase “Circle back later” is not quite a no Sometimes it means nobody bothered to close I’ve heard “too expensive” I’ve heard “not this year” I’ve heard every polite little version of fear Give me the room, give me something to sell I’ll find out pretty quick if we fit each other well [Pre-Chorus - building] So let’s qualify No need for the dance You’re measuring upside I’m measuring chance You want results I want the keys This would be easier If the product weren’t me [Chorus - full groove] The product is me Go ahead, take a look Strong value proposition With results in the books The product is me No free trial, no warranty But if you need somebody who can sell it Baby, the product is me I know, I know It’s a little absurd I spent my whole career Selling somebody else’s words Now the table has turned What a sight to see The salesman’s on display And the product is me [Bridge - groove pulls back, vocal stays confident] Now, normally right here I’d ask what comes next Find out who signs Then close with finesse But this is my interview So I’ll behave [Spoken, dry] Mostly. [Groove returns] You’ve seen the numbers You’ve heard my case You know what I do When the pipeline loses pace If the forecast slips and the numbers fall I think you already know who to call [Breakdown - tight rhythmic groove, keep momentum] Qualify me Challenge me Put me through discovery Check my references Check the history Ask your questions Take your time But if you need somebody Who can build a pipeline... [Beat stops] [Spoken, confident] Hi. [Beat slams back in] [Final Chorus - bigger, playful swagger] The product is me Now you know what you get I don’t need perfect conditions Just give me a target to hit The product is me High intent, no mystery If you need somebody who can sell it You’re looking directly at me The product is me Yeah, the irony’s sweet I can turn a cold lead warm Before we ever meet The product is me So what do you say? You can keep interviewing... Or we can skip to next steps today [Outro - stripped back, amused] The product is me That’s the irony Spent my whole life selling the pitch Now the pitch is me [Short pause] [Spoken, with a grin] So... Who signs?
