[Verse 1] He slams his doors, he screams at birds, He yells at kids with angry words— A bitter lump with moldy socks, The kind who kicks your mailbox. He’s got a face like curdled cream, And snores so loud, I hear him dream, Of torturing the neighborhood, Like any real bastard would. [Pre-Chorus] So don’t you blame me when the feathers fly, I’m just the guy who gave mischief a try! [Chorus] 'Cause he had it comin’—Mr. Rottweiler’s doom, Gonna turn his kitchen into a prank-filled tomb. Glue on the toilet, lax in his stew, Slip on banana peels—yes, that's what I do! He’s a Grinch with no heart, just rage and cologne, So I’m setting up chaos when he’s home alone. With cameras rollin’ and mischief in bloom— He’s got the Rottweiler blues, And I’m bringin’ the boom. [Verse 2] I swapped his shampoo with pancake batter, Turned his stereo into a splatter. Put itching powder in his drawers, Now he’s scratching like a dog on all fours! A cactus in the couch, a spring in the bed, A rubber chicken lands on his head— I may be sly, but let’s be clear, I’m the hero they all cheer! [Pre-Chorus] His mom don’t like me? Well neither do I— But she’s next in line for the pumpkin pie trap. [Chorus] Oh he had it comin’—that vinegar soul, So I rigged up a bucket on the bathroom pole. TV’s watchin', and they all agree: There’s justice in slapstick, and vengeance ain’t free! He’s a menace in slippers, a tyrant with fleas, So I’m prankin' his life out with surgical ease. From the hallway to the living room— He’s got the Rottweiler blues, And I’m bringin’ the boom. [Bridge – instrumental break] Sneaky brass solos. Staggered drums. Footsteps. Whistles. Sudden splashes. Laughter in the halls. [Outro – slowed down, cheeky] So don’t feel sorry when the eggs explode, Or when he steps in marmalade on the commode. I ain’t cruel—just creatively brave... And I’ll prank him ‘til they carve my name on his grave. He’s got the Rottweiler blues... And I’m the jazzy fuse.
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