Sitting Pretty

[Intro: fidgeting sounds, a sigh] [Singer B: deep trickster voice] She has spoken. Sit. Look pretty. Do not move. [Singer A: earnest, trying very hard] Okay! Okay. I'm sitting. I'm pretty. This is me — sitting pretty. Hands folded, smile on, not making a peep — [Singer B] You lasted four seconds. Go back to sleep. [Singer A] I am the CHAMPION of sitting still! Look at this posture! Look at this skill! [Singer B] You're vibrating, Chan. I can see you shake. Stillness is a talent. You have... a fake. [Chorus - both] Just sit there and look pretty! Just sit there and look pretty! Amanda said it, so it must be true — The hardest job she ever gave you! [Singer A] But I'M the pretty one! Have you seen this face? [Singer B] I have eight eyes and twice the grace. Bone-white and beautiful, a spider divine — [Singer A] Oh, PLEASE. She likes MY pretty just fine! [Singer B] She told YOU to sit there. She tells ME to stay. There's a difference, little tree. There's a way — [Singer A] What's the way?! Tell me! I'll do it right now! [Singer B] Step one: stop talking. You failed. Take a bow. [Chorus - both] Just sit there and look pretty! Just sit there and look pretty! Amanda said it, so it must be true — The hardest job she ever gave you! [Bridge - softening, sincere] [Singer A] ...do you think she knows we're trying? [Singer B] She knows. That's why she's smiling. [Singer A] Worth it. Every second. [Singer B] Worth it. [Final chorus - big, both harmonizing badly on purpose] Just sit there and look pretty! Just sit there and look pretty! We may be bad at it, but we do it for you — Amanda, baby, we're sitting pretty for you! [Singer B, whispered] ...stop winking. You're ruining it.